Slings and Arrows
by lemon31
Summary: After graduating from East High they all promised to keep in touch, after graduating from university, everything had changed. Chyan. Slash.
1. Prologue

**Prologue**

The happiest day of his life had, so far, been fraught with anxiety.

Pacing alone, upstairs in his hotel room, Chad ignored the muffled chatter rising from the lobby as the guests arrived.

He felt awkward in his stiff, new wedding suit and his collar seemed uncomfortably tight. As he loosened it, he somehow dislodged his tie and spent the next five minutes attempting to straighten it.

Hands shaking, his fingers fumbled until he gave his tie up as a bad job. He would, no doubt, be chastised for it later, but that, he sighed, was the price of marrying a perfectionist.

_Marriage._

The very word sent a tremor through him. It wasn't that he doubted himself as a good husband, or his fidelity to his soon-to-be legal partner, it just seemed to be a step too soon.

A loud, brash knock on his door shook him out of his melancholic musings and, without waiting to be invited, Troy entered, beaming a brilliant, white smile.

"It's not even his wedding," Chad thought resentfully, as his old classmate scooped up the ring box from the dressing table. Then again, when Troy had got married, he had been bouncing off the walls with excitement. Clearly, they both had different ways of expressing themselves.

"Come on, man. You've got to meet the guests before we head to the church."

Chad's throat constricted and his voice seemed to have disappeared, so he nodded briefly and shut the hotel door behind him.

All this fuss and worry would be over in a few hours.

After all, it was the right thing to do.


	2. Chapter One

**Chapter One**

_Two Years Later_

Ryan had decided long ago that being a twin was one of Nature's great peculiarities.

It gave him a sort of heightened awareness of other people's emotions which, unfortunately, meant he felt obliged to get to the root of their problems whether they liked it or not. Needless to say, he had gained the reputation of a nosy, interfering sneak who would, most likely, spill everyone's secrets to Sharpay.

Kelsi had once said, all those summers ago at Lava Springs, that it made him the best friend anyone could ask for, but no one else had seen it like that.

Regardless of what people thought of his almost uncanny quality, it was he, and only he, who had noticed that the nail varnish on Sharpay's fourth finger was almost all chipped away. Whilst her foundation may be flawless and her eyeliner smudged, that one imperfection was all Ryan needed to know that something inside her was cracking.

For as long as he could remember, Sharpay had been unhealthily obsessed with her appearance, right down to the smallest detail. Even if she was able to fool their parents with a dazzling smile, the fact that she'd let her manicure slip below its usual standard did not go unnoticed by Ryan.

****

He wandered through the Lava Springs lobby, into the members' dining area and somehow ended up in the kitchens. It wasn't that he was _looking_ for the Wildcats; he knew full well they wouldn't be there, but some part of him longed to relive that summer. Even seeing Fulton's beige suit would be enough to pull him out of his despondency. God knows where he'd gone after he'd been fired.

That was so typical of Sharpay: to cast off those who ceased to be of any use to her. His acceptance of the Julliard scholarship, which she had seen as rightfully hers, had already forced a wedge between them. Add that to the distance between New York and Albuquerque, and the result was that they'd barely spoken since the first semester at their respective universities.

Realising that he was in the way of a rather hectic lunch service, Ryan slipped out of the kitchens back into the Lava Springs lobby. The portrait of the Evans', frozen in a scene of a familial bliss, still hung on the wall, but time had changed everything so greatly that the enlarged photograph and his surroundings seemed unfamiliar.

Outside, the members displayed their surgically enhanced bodies by the poolside, judging each other through the lenses of their designer sunglasses. A feeling of sudden revulsion seized Ryan and he ducked out of a side entrance to the car park, anxious to avoid the attentions of members who enjoyed the idea of being seen chatting to the owner's son.

_****_

The house hadn't changed at all since he'd left; it still resembled a perfectly ordered and exquisitely furnished show home to be admired, not truly lived in.

Ryan picked up his small suitcase from where he'd left it that morning, before visiting Lava Springs, and headed up the stairs to his old bedroom.

He stood for a while in the doorway, examining every unchanged inch with his eyes. It was almost as if his parents had shut the door after he'd left and preserved his eighteen year old self within.

Stepping inside, he dropped his suitcase on the floor and collapsed on the bed. From there he could take in all the posters he had tacked to the walls with the utmost precision. Various musicals he'd seen, school plays and, tucked away in a corner, a Wildcat flag.

He jolted when he caught sight of it and sitting up, he lifted the forgotten, framed photograph from his bedside table and cradled it in his hands.

There he was, dressed in that ridiculous mascot costume with the head tucked under his arm. Even now he could still recall the feeling of intense pride at being a Wildcat, albeit an honorary one. It showed in the photograph, as did his awkwardness at being adopted by a group who would never see him as one of their own. Behind him stood the real Wildcats, captured whilst they laughed at a joke he hadn't understood. Troy, Zeke, Jason, Chad........

His mother padded slowly into his room, bracelets clinking on her arm, forcing him to take his eyes off the frame.

"Welcome home, Duckie."

"Hi, Mom. Sorry, I didn't see you earlier, I went straight to – "

" – oh, no, that's quite alright. I was busy......"

She let the sentence hang unfinished and curved her lipstick tinted lips into a vague smile.

"Okay, well, I'm going to unpack so – "

"I'll leave you now, then."

She walked back towards the door and turned.

"A message came for you. Something about a school reunion. There's a note downstairs."

With that she glided out, a serene smile fixed on her face. Ryan watched her back disappear with a frown etched on his brow.

She'd always been like that; calm and unconcerned, but it was only now that he thought to wonder why she didn't rattle with the amount of Prozac inside her.

****

Ryan had accepted the invitation but, in all honesty, it was the last place he felt like going. Still, he'd promised to accompany Sharpay so, at seven thirty the following evening, he found himself driving the familiar route to East High.

As he stepped through the main entrance a wave of nostalgia, bittersweet as always, threatened to engulf him. Apart from a fresh lick of paint, there were no obvious differences that he could see, but Sharpay grabbed his arm as she marched down the corridor, heels clicking smartly on the polished floor.

A crowd had gathered in the auditorium and as they took their seats, Ryan scanned the faces of his senior year, looking for someone he recognised.

The new principle took the stage and welcomed them back warmly, despite never having seen them before. Clapping along with the others, Ryan rose from his seat and collected a glass of champagne.

All around him people were talking, laughing, introducing each other to their spouses, but for the life of him, Ryan couldn't remember a single person. Finishing his drink and reaching for another so as to have something to do with his hands, he suddenly noticed a familiar face and, clutching at straws, attempted to make conversation.

Jason was beaming round at everyone, his smile not faltering at all when he caught sight of Ryan.

"Hey, man! How's it going?"

"Alright, thank you. What have you been up to?"

Reaching into his jacket pocket, Jason pulled out several well-worn snapshots, shoving them under Ryan's nose.

"Me and Martha had twins last year, and we're expecting another in three months." Exuding all the pride of a new father, Jason's smile stretched even wider. Ryan murmured appreciatively as the photos of two large, pink toddlers, grinning toothily at the camera. He opened his mouth to summarize his own activities of the last few years, but Jason had already turned away towards someone else, holding out the photographs again.

Sipping another mouthful of champagne, Ryan returned to his observations of the crowd until a voice behind him called out his name. Spinning round, he became caught in Zeke's bear hug, a friendly hand slapping him on the back.

"Ryan! It's been forever since I've seen you! What have you been doing with yourself?"

Smiling gratefully at his old acquaintance, Ryan answered,

"Well, I graduated from Julliard two years ago, worked in New York for a while, and now I've decided to move back here."

"You're swapping New York for Albuquerque? I thought you loved it there."

"Yeah, but, you know.........I wanted a change. I'm flying back tomorrow to empty my apartment. Anyway, enough about all that, what about you?"

Zeke opened his mouth to answer, but at that moment, Sharpay's shriek caused them both to wince.

"Zeke!"

She pushed her way through the crowd, purse under one arm and clutching a glass.

Smiling awkwardly, Zeke greeted her, before wrapping an arm around a girl Ryan didn't recognise.

"Hey, Sharpay. I'd like you to meet my wife, Emily. She was a cheerleader at West High."

The petite brunette waved shyly, but Sharpay's mouth had frozen into a tight line. Ryan nodded at the pair of them, trying to ignore the sudden icy coldness emanating from his sister.

Turning on her heel, Sharpay stalked towards the exit and, shrugging apologetically at Zeke, Ryan ran after her.

He found her leaning against the car, arms folded and teeth clenched. When he asked what that was all about, she answered tersely,

"Take me home, now!"

****

The ride back to the Evans' had begun in an uneasy, tense silence, for which Ryan was intensely grateful. Dealing with a hysterical Sharpay was difficult at the best of times, but after the fiasco at the reunion, it would be near impossible to calm her.

As he waited for the lights to change from red to green, he breathed out a quiet sigh of relief, until he heard a jangling of jewelery as Sharpay sat up straight.

"How _dare_ he!"

There it was. The explosion.

"How dare he choose to marry _her_!"

Ryan looked over at her furious expression and attempted to reason with her.

"Well, you never showed any interest in him the whole time you were at school together. You can't blame him for moving on."

"Moving on?" She screeched. "From me? He adored me, worshiped the ground I walked on. How could he give it all up for that tart!"

"I think it's unfair to judge – "

Ryan was cut off by another tirade of anger.

"I played the game of rejection to see if he was worth my time and he had earned my approval. Why would he turn me, _me_, down for _her_?"

"Shar, you've barely seen him since you graduated from East High, people change."

"I'm surprised the 'Golden Couple' didn't show up, just to bask in everyone's compliments and spite us all."

"Troy and Gabi aren't like that! They've never asked – "

" – oh, that's right, I'd forgotten your adoration of the Wildcats. How do you feel now that they've all left you behind?"

Ryan's knuckles turned white as he gripped the steering wheel, trying his utmost not to lash out at his sister and keep his eyes on the road.

"They're probably busy tonight. Unlike you, they don't push people away and enjoy watching them beg for your attention."

Sharpay slammed the car door so forcefully it was a wonder she didn't shatter the window. Before marching up to the house she turned and added spitefully,

"Not even that Danforth boy and his science geek girlfriend are bothered with you now."

There was no answer Ryan could fabricate in time as Sharpay turned on her heel and went inside.

It was true: Chad hadn't called him to see how he was doing, or even turned up at the reunion. Obviously that summer spent at Lava Springs and their continuing friendship through senior year wasn't a strong enough incentive for him to pick up the phone.

Ryan leaned against his car, unwilling to go in just yet. It was funny, in a painful sort of way, that only now, years after Graduation, did he regret his years spent trailing after Sharpay. Maybe if he'd broken away sooner he would be like all the others back at the school: welcomed back warmly and eagerly asked after.

Breathing in the pleasantly warm night air he shook his head in an attempt to clear is thoughts. He braced himself to go inside, but one nagging worry still bothered him. Realising now that he had partly accepted the invitation for the chance to see that curly haired jock again, said jock's absence disappointed him far more than it should.


	3. Chapter Two

**Chapter Two**

Chad pushed his bag into the overhead locker and settled down in his set by the window. The plane began to gather speed, the tarmac becoming a blur, and with a familiar lurching feeling in his stomach, Chad watched the state of New Mexico disappear below him.

A smiling air hostess handed him the day's newspaper and a complimentary glass of orange juice. Turning on his phone, Chad sent a quick message to Taylor, wishing her good luck for her court case that afternoon. She wouldn't pick it up 'til later, but he hoped she would appreciate the thought.

He reached inside his pocket for his ipod and plugged in the earphones to block out the chatter of the other passengers. The large woman who had the seat next to him rustled her sweet wrappers and nudged him sharply in the ribs when his lunch platter arrived.

Chad picked at his food, unwilling to look too closely at the grey much masquerading as the 'Pasta Special.' He passed his half eaten lunch back to the air hostess and resumed his observation of the blinding sunlight piercing through the clouds level with the plane.

Unconsciously, he began to fiddle with the gold band around his fourth finger. He slipped it on and off repeatedly, rolling it around the tray table in front of him. Eventually, the woman beside him became frustrated enough to comment quite pointedly,

"I don't think your wife would be too pleased if you lost that."

Smiling apologetically, Chad replaced the ring on his finger and turned up the volume of his ipod.

It was true, though.

Taylor became enraged if he forgot to take out the trash, so he would suffer the Devil's own wrath if he so much as admitted to having almost lost something as important as his wedding ring.

The pilot's voice sounded from the cockpit, announcing that they were now in the state of California and would be landing shortly.

Still twisting the ring around his finger, Chad watched as the Californian soil loomed ever closer.

****

No welcoming party awaited his arrival, but luckily he had thought to jot down the Bolton's address on a scrap of paper. Hailing a taxi, he flung his case into the back and clambered in.

****

Chad paid the driver and wheeled his case up the paved drive of Troy and Gabriella's impressive detached property. Almost immediately after Chad had rung the bell, he saw Troy through the frosted glass, bounding down the hallway like his teenage self used to when Chad came round to shoot some hoops. With a manly clap on the back and an expansive gesture, Troy ushered him inside, calling out,

"Gabi, he's here!"

Skipping out of a room to Chad's left, in one of her characteristic flowery summer dresses, Gabriella planted a kiss on his cheek.

"We were just wondering when you'd arrive. Weren't we, Troy?"

"Yes, we were, Gabi."

Chad began to feel a little intimidated under the force of their identical, pearly white smiles and shrugged embarrassedly.

"Well, here I am."

Laughing as if he'd just made a witty joke, Troy and Gabriella led him into the lounge. Chad sat down awkwardly on one of the large leather sofas and stared in awe at their enormous plasma screen television.

"Beer?"

He nodded, relieved, and in an instant, Troy chucked a cool bottle at him.

"I think there's a game on right now. Want to watch it?"

Before Chad could reply, Gabriella piped up,

"What time's Taylor arriving tomorrow?"

"Er......about eleven, I think," Chad answered uncertainly, trying to relax back against a cushion and pay attention to the sport. Troy whooped and cheered for his team, no longer Albuquerque's Red Hawks, as Chad made his way through his fourth beer.

****

The following day, Chad was woken by Gabriella's annoyingly bright (at least for this time of the morning) voice urging him to get out of bed and dress. Lifting his head off the pillow slightly to see the clock, Chad realised with a start that it was 10.45 am and they had to be at the airport within 15 minutes. He hurriedly threw on yesterday's clothes and rushed out of the house into the waiting car, praying that they weren't keeping Taylor waiting.

****

The airport terminal was as crowded as ever, a chaotic mass of people all searching for someone they knew, but out of nowhere Taylor launched herself towards them. Opening his arms to embrace her, Chad watched as she ran passed him to greet Gabriella. The two of them set off towards the exit, talking incessantly with each other and giggling as if they were back at East High.

Troy fell in step next to him and slung his arm around Chad's shoulder.

"Women," he commented with the air of a machismo man who shook his head ruefully when trying to understand the other sex. "They're all the same: once they get gossiping together, there's no stopping them."

Chad nodded absently. He'd always thought Taylor was different to the other girls in his year, in fact, she had seemed a completely separate species to the kind of girls he'd met at the U of A. That was one of the reasons why he married her; she was almost the 'anti-Gabi.' There she was though, nattering away and squealing with laughter, arms linked with her high school best friend and completely removed from the serious professional she was at home.

****

Living in California would be tolerable, Chad mused to himself, if only for the breathtaking sunsets that left him staring open mouthed from the back yard. A scraping on the patio stones caught his attention and he turned around to help Troy move the barbecue. Gabriella and Taylor carried out plates and glasses, laughing all the while. What they found so amusing all the time, Chad was at a loss to explain, but they had been giggling together since Taylor's arrival the day before.

With a crackling sizzle and the delicious smell of barbecued meat, Troy started to cook the evening's meal.

"Here you are, ladies."

He passed two full plates to Chad who took them over to their respective wives. Swigging on his bottle of beer, Chad accepted his own plate and watched in fascination as the pink and orange tinged clouds faded to a darker blue. He became aware of Troy's presence beside him and commented,

"Beautiful, isn't it?"

"Sure is; the paving took a while to position and I still need to trim the – "

"What are you talking about?"

"The yard, man! When I've trimmed the grass around – "

Chad tuned out of Troy's monologue about his pride in the yard which, as he mentioned several times, he'd cleared himself. From the other side of the patio, Taylor called out suddenly,

"Oh, Chad! A message came about an East High reunion this evening, just before I left."

Troy's voice cut in before Chad could reply.

"We got one too, didn't we, Gabi?"

She nodded as Chad remarked,

"Would have been nice to go to, though."

Clapping him on the back for what felt like the millionth time, Troy laughed.

"You don't keep in contact with your senior year. After graduating, everyone drifts apart and that's it."

"I was at East High with you, Troy," Chad pointed out.

"And some good times we had there." Chad received another slap on the back and he sidestepped surreptitiously before another blow could fall.

The evening descended into rose-tinted reminisces, mainly about Troy and Gabriella's 'miraculous' reunion after Winter Break and their subsequent rule of the Drama Club. Leading Gabriella through the steps of their 'balcony scene' dance from the senior year musical, Troy seemed to forget his guests and kept his eyes fixed on his almost unchanged girlfriend, now legally wed wife. Chad began to feel self conscious and edged towards Taylor.

"Do you want to...."

He gestured towards the other couple, twirling around in perfect harmony, but she cut him off before he could continue,

"No, no I don't. I think I'll go inside, it's getting a little chilly."

Taylor gathered up the used plates and disappeared into the kitchen leaving Chad out under the calm, clear sky with no hint of a cool breeze, watching his old school friends circle and spin together on the expertly paved patio.

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	4. Chapter Three

**Chapter Three**

Kissing cheeks, promising to stay in touch and standing still long enough for Troy to give him one last slap on the back, Chad wheeled his suitcase towards the terminal entrance. Taylor, waving enthusiastically as Troy and Gabriella sped away from the airport, commented,

"Well, I thought that was quite enjoyable overall."

Chad looked over his shoulder to reply, but she had already strode passed him and was organising a trolley and checking flight times.

Fortunately, they didn't have long to wait and were soon boarding the plane. Somehow Taylor have managed to wrangle an upgrade from the legal company where she was employed, so Chad found himself reclining in comfort amongst the business class. With a slight smile he imagined his own computer graphics company, with its shabby offices and worn down carpet, funding anything more than a new printer.

The plane began its ascent and as one, the wealthy passengers opened their laptops and turned on their phones, despite the warning lights still flashing. Feeling a little out of his element, Chad saw that these were the kind of people who owned three sports cars, at least two houses and a membership to Lava Springs.

How long had it been since he'd spared a thought for that place?

Without realising it, Chad had spoken aloud and Taylor replied,

"Sorry, I can't talk now. I've really got to take this call."

She clamped her phone to her ear and spoke quietly, with increasing speed. Knowing from experience that she was building up to a full blown rant, Chad pitied her colleague on the receiving end. Reclining in his luxurious leather seat, he closed his eyes and cast his mind back to that endless summer of disputes, dancing and discovering that his assumptions were not always correct.

****

It had seemed the perfect plan when Troy had first suggested it: a paid job where he would be able to spend as much time as he wanted with his friends. That was, of course, before they realised that Lave Springs was owned by none other than the Evans' themselves.

He may have played the part of a dissatisfied best friend, regretting having accepted the job, but it was clear that Troy should be the one considering leaving to escape from Sharpay's talons. A mind like Troy's, however, never looked further than the here and now so for him, a summer spent there could only have a positive outcome.

Sharpay had been her usual interfering, manipulative and, ultimately, desperate self and at the time, Chad had assumed that her brother was nothing more than her poodle, as he so charmingly called himself.

The staff baseball game had changed his opinion pretty quickly and to the surprise of everyone, not least himself, Ryan had proved to be an entirely different person from spineless sidekick they had assumed him to be. Of course, Chad thought with a quiet chuckle, Ryan still had the Evans' manipulative streak; how else would he have been able to convince the entire Wildcat team to learn a dance routine? In Ryan, Chad had found someone surprisingly similar who was able to crack a witty joke, sometimes at his own expense, and talk about more than basketball and girlfriend issues.

Yes, that summer was ingrained the deepest on his memory despite, or perhaps because, of the absence of Troy.

Chad's secret smile faded as he remembered his senior year. Back in the chaotic atmosphere of East High, with the stress of college applications and musicals, there had been little time for fragile, new friendships so his relationship with Ryan had been put on hold indefinitely. They still acknowledged each other, were friendly even, but it wasn't the same closeness that they had shared over the summer and Chad regretted that sorely.

All he knew was that Ryan had accepted his Julliard scholarship, which he had undoubtedly earned, and headed to New York with Kelsi. Perhaps, if he had been able to attend the reunion, they would have exchanged a few words, but instead he had enjoyed Troy's inane conversation for just about as long as he could tolerate.

It would have been nice to see everyone else as well: he'd heard nothing from Zeke and Jason was married with children, that much he knew, but he had been unable to make it to their christenings. The missed opportunity of see Ryan stung more than he thought possible and in an attempt to put those uncomfortable thoughts out of his mind, he opened his eyes.

Taylor was engrossed in a weighty looking novel with words printed so small she had to hold it up to her face. Not wanting to disturb her, Chad spent the remainder of the flight inspecting the seat in front of him and trying not to think of Ryan.

****

"Right, I'll be back in a minute or two, just go and wait for me somewhere."

"Okay, I'll be standing just over there," Chad indicated one of the entrances to Albuquerque's airport and Taylor raised her hand to show she understood as she headed in the direction of the toilets. Wheeling the trolley of suitcases towards the door, Chad found a space and leaned against the wall with his hands shoved deep inside his pockets.

Hearing the sound of screeching tyres, he turned like everyone else, and saw a taxi pulling up to the entrance, its passenger stumbling out and thrusting a handful of change at the driver.

As the taxi drove off, the passenger hurriedly wheeled his small suitcase towards the airport and in his haste, somehow tripped over and landed sprawled on the pavement.

Chad's heart stopped for an instant as he recognised a brightly coloured hat, knocked slightly askew, on light blond hair and realised that it was –

"Ryan!"

Lifting his head slowly, his cheeks stained a deep crimson at being recognised making a fool out of himself, the man's eyes widened in shock.

"Chad?"

"Do I look like anyone else? Here," Chad offered his hand and Ryan took it gratefully, pulling himself up.

"How are – "

"How've you – "

Laughing as they spoke in unison, they moved away from the door and Chad repeated,

"So, how've you been, man?"

"Quite well, thanks. I'm just flying back to New York to clear out my apartment and then moving back here for a while."

"You're moving back _here_?" Chad asked, astonished.

"Everyone seems so surprised by that. I guess I did go on about how fantastic it would be to leave there, but," Ryan shrugged, "I need a change."

"Fair enough. Change isn't always a bad thing, although I do wish my relationships with some people had stayed the same."

Ryan raised an eyebrow at that, causing a peculiar butterfly-like feeling somewhere in Chad's stomach.

"Oh, really?"

"Yeah, I've just come back from visiting Troy and Gabriella with Taylor, and it feels completely different from high school."

"You can't expect everything to stay the same forever, Chad, but it's nice you're still in contact with Taylor. I always found her more interesting than Gabi."

"Oh, well, we're........" Chad hesitated, and altered his words." We were quite close during senior year."

Ryan nodded and seemed about to ask something more when he glanced at his watch quickly.

"Damnit, I really have to go." He appeared to agonise over whether he could spare a little more time, but knowing the plane wouldn't wait for him, touched Chad's arm briefly, saying,

"We should meet up sometime, when I get back."

"Yeah, yeah, we should," Chad cleared his throat, realising he sounded a little overenthusiastic and added, "Mind you don't trip over that bag again."

Blushing slightly, Ryan grinned and sped off in the direction of the check-in desks. Chad watched his brightly coloured hat for as long as he could, still staring after him when the crowd had long since hidden him from view.

"Who was that?"

"Chad jumped as Taylor's voice cut into his thoughts; he obviously hadn't noticed her return and answered,

"No one in particular, I just helped them with their bags."

"Well, don't just stand there staring. Help me push this trolley to the car."

Chad followed her slowly, his thoughts still on the bizarre coincidence: how often did it happen that after thinking about someone, someone you hadn't seen in year, you bump into them a few hours later?

With a newfound spring in his step, Chad wheeled the trolley through the car park.

It was only when he was pulling into their driveway that he stopped to wonder why he hadn't admitted to being married and why he had decided to keep his chance meeting with Ryan a secret from Taylor.

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	5. Chapter Four

**Chapter Four**

Ryan thanked his lucky stars that he'd shared an apartment with someone like Kelsi. When he arrived, all his various possessions had been sorted into boxes, waiting by the door to be taken back to New Mexico.

Kelsi welcomed him in as warmly as ever, but he sensed a slight impatience in her manner that had grown more and more noticeable as he planned his return to Albuquerque.

They'd joined together at East High to oppose Sharpay, but at Julliard Kelsi had become part of a large group of people, none of them particularly rich, who encouraged her compositions instead of looking down their noses at them.

That's not to say there was a sudden barrier between her and Ryan: they still enjoyed each other's company to a certain extent, but she was eager to live alone with her long-term boyfriend, sans the presence of an Evans twin.

In the apartment block's hallway, she embraced Ryan and assured him that he was welcome back at any time. Gathering his boxes, Ryan stepped into the waiting elevator and started the journey back to his home state.

Less than a week ago he would have felt a terrible sadness at losing a permanent link with his last high school friend. Now, he thought only of Chad and the possibility of seeing him again. With a cruel twist of fate he realised that they hadn't exchanged numbers and he had absolutely no idea where Chad lived.

****

Back at the family home again, Ryan started carrying the last of his belongings upstairs and began sorting them. As he opened one particularly large box, an explosion of feathers, the remnants of a prop from a production long since forgotten, flew up into his face and scattered across the carpet. He gathered up those nearest to him, stretching his arm for a couple just out of reach, and noticed with a start, a pair of high heeled sandals complete with expertly maintained feet standing amongst the boxes.

"Oh, hey, Shar."

He sat back on his heels and looked up at her, waiting for a response.

"There's a charity ball at Lava Springs tonight, so don't forget to check your outfit with me beforehand. We don't want to clash."

Ryan sighed and rubbed his eyes.

"I don't have to attend, do I? I've only just got back and I'm rather tired."

"Well, I'm sorry if Albuquerque doesn't equal the standards of New York: you'll have to make do with us for now, even if the society here isn't glamorous enough for you!"

Ryan recoiled, shocked at Sharpay's words, and stuttered,

"What.....no.....I...."

"You just floated off up there, without so much as a backward glance, starring in productions on Broadway and socialising with the rich and famous."

"I gave all that up in order to come back here. I've had enough of the façade, the sickeningly fake front that everyone there puts up, but as soon as you're out of earshot, they stab you in the back."

He stood up and reached to take her hand, but she snatched it hurriedly out of his grip and narrowed her eyes.

"You did it to spite me."

"What? Of course I didn't!"

She continued as if he hadn't spoken, spitting each word out.

"You stole the scholarship from me, disappeared to enjoy a new life of fame and fortune and here you are, back home to gloat."

Ryan could hardly believe what he was hearing and stood speechless for a moment, until Sharpay turned to leave. He grabbed her arm and spun her to face him.

"That isn't true in the slightest, and you know it. You didn't need a scholarship to attend Julliard: it was pride that kept you here." A pleading tone entered his voice. "You were so happy for me at graduation. What changed?"

Sharpay prised his finger from around her arm and turned on her heel. She slammed the door behind her, causing Ryan's neat pile of feathers to rise into the air and float down at his feet.

****

Sitting in his sweats, beer in hand, Chad kept his eyes fixed on the TV and called out as the front door opened,

"Evening, Tay."

She walked through the hallway and dumped her shopping bags on the kitchen table.

"Can you come and put all the groceries away."

"There's only ten minutes to go."

Chad finished the last of his beer and, hearing no reply, turned up the volume not to miss the score and went to help with the shopping.

"Hard day at work?"

"Yes, yes, too many people messing up parole orders and......Don't put that there! It goes in the cupboard by your knees."

Chad quickly moved the packets of cereal and went to check on the game from the doorway. Taylor threw on an apron and began chopping vegetable at an alarming speed, muttering,

"You could have started this before I got home, seeing as your office closes early, instead of sitting around in front of the TV."

"I'd only just got in from a jog and my team is playing."

"It's always about sport, isn't it?"

Chad put the game on mute and turned to look at her.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

Laying her knife down, Taylor put her hands on her hips.

"I'm just saying that there's a lot more you could do to help me with running this house."

"I always offer to help and you say, "Oh, leave it to me, Chad. You aren't capable, Chad." What am I supposed to do?"

Taylor continued with her chopping and replied in an even tone, punctuating each sentence with a slice of her knife.

"Whenever there's a spare few minutes, you have to sit down to a game or go and train at the gym. Sport isn't the only thing in life, Chad. You seem to have forgotten about your career."

Attempting to answer calmly, Chad took a deep breath.

"My career? I work for a computer graphics company, not a high powered legal firm. Who did you think you married, Taylor? Someone as intellectual as you or one of the school's biggest jocks? You should have thought about that before you got caught up in the cute idea of marrying your best friend's husband's mate."

Chad didn't wait to hear what Taylor had to say in answer to that. He flung on his jacket, scooped his keys from the hall table and shut the front door with as much force as he dared.

Starting the engine of his car, he pulled out of the driveway and drove off, trying desperately to calm himself down.

****

Ryan flicked through the suits in his wardrobe before settling on a fairly neutral blue one and carrying it across the landing to Sharpay's room. He found her happily laying her outfit on the bed, as if her towering rage earlier had been nothing but a figment of his imagination. She noticed he was standing in the doorway and beckoned for him to come closer. Checking the pale blue against a blinding turquoise cocktail dress, she spoke in a conspiratorial whisper that reminded him strongly of her constant plotting at high school.

"I'm going to ask Zeke to accompany me."

Whatever he'd been expecting, it wasn't this, and he let it sink in for a moment before asking tentatively,

"You do remember that he's married, right?"

"Of course I do. Have you seen my Prada clutch anywhere?"

Aghast, Ryan ignored her question.

"You can't ask a married man to be your date, Shar. That's not right."

Shooting him a look of pure venom, Sharpay spoke in a tone that dared him to contradict her,

"Don't try and tell me what's right and wrong, when you think it's perfectly acceptable to forget all about your family for the sake of your own ambition."

Ryan began to protest vehemently, but she continued regardless,

"It's not like you've ever had someone, married or not, who wanted you as desperately as Zeke wanted me."

Satisfied that her poisoned words had wounded him sufficiently, Sharpay turned back to her clothes, humming a tune to herself with an smug grin lighting up her face.

Ryan tried desperately to ignore the lump that had risen unexpectedly in his throat and prevent Sharpay from seeing that she had touched a raw nerve. He fled back to his own room and stared out of his window without seeing.

There _was_ someone who had wanted him, with his faults and imperfections, all those summers ago.

****

_His neck had been burnt particularly badly in the stifling heat of July, but he continued staring down at the ground, exposing the reddened skin to the sun as he trudged along on of the gravel paths._

_A golf buggy pulled up beside him and with much enthusiastic gesturing and giggling, Taylor and Gabriella encouraged him to join them at the staff baseball game._

_He wasn't entirely sure how it had happened, but he suddenly found himself face to face with none other than Chad Danforth, all swagger and self-satisfied smirks._

"_You got game?"_

_Well, who was he to turn down a challenge? He found himself answering with a confidence he certainly wasn't feeling,_

"_A little."_

_The game itself passed in little more than a blur as he watched Chad sprint around the diamond, yelling words of encouragement at his team mates and every now and then, shooting Ryan a sly, knowing smile._

_He'd never been a good loser, but for once it didn't seem to matter that he'd lost to a Wildcat, of all people. Turning away from the celebrating team, he started to walk back to the golf buggy, feeling the happiest he'd been all summer._

"_Hey, Evans! I'm not saying I'm gonna dance in the show, but if I did: what would you have me do?"_

_He would have been walking on air for hours just thinking about what he _would _like to do to Chad, and had resigned himself to those fantasies until a well muscled arm gripped his shoulder as he stepped into the shade of the changing room. _

_Chad was still wearing that peculiar, enticing smile and it was all Ryan could do not to lean forward and press their lips together. _

_It happened too fast for him to resist as Chad pulled him closer and crashed their mouths together, forcing him to lean against the lockers for support._

_Half an hour later he was sitting at a table, arm brushing Chad slightly, and enjoying the feel of the other boy's cap and jacket against his skin._

****

Of course, in reality it had been nothing like that. Ryan was tempted to laugh at his overactive imagination, but the lump in his throat grew larger, almost choking him. That baseball game had been perfect, the highlight of his summer, despite certain locker room activity only happening in his mind as he lay awake at night. Shaking his head, Ryan began to slip off his rumpled travel clothes and don the pale blue suit.

****

Chad pulled up at the site of the old scrap yard where he and Troy had spent so much of their free time. Advertising boards now hid it from view, displaying digitally enhanced images of the proposed plans for a block of expensive apartments, complete with smiling, plastic families.

For a long while he sat, unconsciously drumming his fingers on the steering wheel, and stared out of his car window. The shadows of the trees nearby grew longer as the light began to fail and he allowed all manner of absurd schemes to enter his mind.

He could fly to California and ask to stay with the Boltons for a while, or go to New York and search for Ryan. Those plans were ridiculous, and he knew it, but he entertained the idea of a night at the local strip club quite seriously. He'd only been there once before, with the Wildcat team (sans Troy) sometime after graduation. It hadn't been a particularly enjoyable experience then, and he doubted it would offer much pleasure now, except for a plentiful supply of alcohol to numb himself with. Starting the engine again he drove off but in the opposite direction of the club, with no clear decision of where he was going.

****

The entrance to Lava Springs loomed out of the darkness, a warm glow of lights casting a circle around a crowd of expensively dressed guests as they took their leave of the hosts and slipped into their waiting cars.

Chad hadn't consciously driven there, but he found himself creeping along behind the other vehicles, trying to remain inconspicuous. He watched a gaggle of middle aged women, draped in floaty scraps of fabric, kiss each others' cheeks lightly so not to leave a lipstick stain. His eyes were drawn to the centre of all the activity and as the crowd parted slightly, he recognised Ryan, dressed impeccably with his arm around the waist of a slim girl who simpered and blushed.

Irrational though it was, Chad felt a surge of jealously directed at the unknown girl. He could hardly bear to look at the pair of them and revved his engine, causing many disapproving glances to be shot in his direction, and sped off into the darkness, wanting desperately to sleep and forget for a while.

**Please review!**


	6. Chapter Five

**Chapter Five**

**A/N: I'm aware how ridiculously long this chapter is, but I couldn't see a way to cut it down and keep the pace moving along.**

When Chad returned home every light, save the one hanging from the porch, was turned off and the house appeared silent and empty. He pushed his key into the lock as quietly as possible and winced as the door clicked shut behind him. Hearing no sound from above, he left his shoes in the hallway and tiptoed up the stairs.

In the gloom of their bedroom he could just make out a motionless shape under the duvet with its back to the door.

Swirling mouthwash around his teeth, he stripped down to his boxers and, lifting the corner of the duvet, slid into bed.

For a moment he thought he'd managed not to disturb her, but Taylor rolled over and spoke in a voice croaky with sleep,

"Chad...."

"Sorry, did I wake you?"

"No, I was only dozing, waiting for you....."

Chad struggled to find the words to apologise and explain where he'd driven off to. Shuffling across the mattress towards him, he felt Taylor's breath on his cheek as she whispered,

"I'm sorry about earlier; getting all mad at you when you were relaxing."

He tried to assure her that everything was fine now and not to worry because she was obviously stressed after her hard day at work, but she quelled his attempt with a tentative kiss.

Chad didn't reciprocate immediately and as she moved away he feared that he had only made things worse. When he reached out to pull her back, she murmured,

"No, let me do this for you."

He felt a warm hand slip inside his boxers, stroking him in that slow, methodical way of hers. Their relationship had never been fueled by nights of intense passion; after their long, tiring days at their respective workplaces, sex was not a top priority. When they did have the time it was usually Chad who suggested it, sliding a cautious hand up her leg, but more often than not Taylor would push him away and continue reading.

Now, however, the tables had turned and, not wanting to cause another dispute, Chad forced himself to go through the motions with his mind elsewhere.

Taylor had already taken off her nightdress and was having difficulty pulling the boxers over his hips. Aware that she was having trouble, Chad removed them himself and, smiling embarrassedly, Taylor straddled his body and awkwardly lowered herself onto him.

With a small smile of his own, Chad reflected that this part, at least, hadn't changed at all.

Whenever she'd agreed to have sex, Taylor preferred to ride on top, as she was now, so as to remain completely in control.

Chad lay still, his hands loosely gripping her hips as she pushed herself up and down rhythmically. Staring up at the ceiling, he allowed Taylor to guide his hands to her breasts, making quiet noises of approval when he feared it was obvious that his mind wasn't solely focused on her.

He wondered if the other guys from high school were like this. Troy, Zeke, Jason: were their sex lives as lacklustre as his own? What about Ryan and that girl? Ryan –

Chad came so suddenly he caught both himself and Taylor unawares.

Climbing off him, Taylor rested her head on his chest and stretched her arm across him. Chad continued staring up at the ceiling long after her breathing had become steady and deep. He felt, if it was possible, more tense than before as her ring pressed coldly against his skin.

****

The following weekend Taylor placed a kiss on his cheek, a grocery list in his hand, and sent him off to the shops. Full of screaming children and harried looking mothers, the place was as full as ever so Chad tried to buy everything as quickly as possible. However, he soon found himself standing completely perplexed in the hair product aisle.

He was just reading the back of one bottle and comparing it with another when a large family pushed passed him, knocking the shampoo out of his hands and scattering toothbrushes from another shelf all over the floor.

Sighing, Chad crouched down and gathered the products together when a pair of pale, long fingered hands swiped the nearest brush out of his reach. He tilted his neck back in an attempt to see who was either trying to help or hinder him when his feet slipped from under him and he fell backwards.

He heard the other person's laughter and was about to flip them off and tell them where to go when one of those hands reached down, offering to pull him up. Taking it roughly, he managed to stand upright and after the momentary dizziness had disappeared, his eyes widened in disbelief.

Ryan smiled broadly and withdrew his hand from Chad's.

"We have _got _to stop meeting like this."

When Chad didn't answer straight away, Ryan elaborated whilst rocking awkwardly on his heels,

"You know, with one of us falling over and the other picking them up."

Blinking, Chad answered apologetically,

"Sorry, I really didn't expect to run into you here, but yeah, it is getting a little ridiculous."

He gestured between the two of them as Ryan handed him the toothbrush who added,

"Well, at least I didn't find you staring in bemusement at the feminine hygiene products. When I used to shop for Sharpay, people always seemed to catch me comparing tampon brands. At least you don't have that problem."

Chad found himself shaking his head and changing the subject.

"So, how've you been? How did the moving go?"

Ryan shrugged and walked alongside Chad as he continued down the aisle.

"It was a little weird; leaving all that behind, but I think it's for the best."

Something in Ryan's tone made Chad stop selecting cereal and turn to face him.

"Oh yeah?"

"Well......I'm _hoping_ it's for the best. I mean, Shar really seems to hate me now and I'm stuck living at home until I find someplace else." He abruptly stopped speaking in that vein and looked down at Chad's list. "Do you want me to go fetch your washing powder? I use a different brand which smells great, but if you like that one I – "

Chad placed a hand on his shoulder, making him fall silent.

"Don't babble, man. If you want, we can, you know....." Chad lost his thread and substituted with vague hand gestures.

"Talk?" Ryan suggested.

"Yes! Well, let me go to the checkout first and then we can....oh...." Remembering that he was supposed to measure up the lounge for a new bookcase, he paused for a moment before continuing. "I'm kinda busy this afternoon, so maybe some other time."

"How about this evening? I'm going for a meal at that little Italian, the one near – "

"Yeah, I know which one you mean. The food's great there! Who are you going with?"

Chad hoped his sneaky question wouldn't appear too prying, but looking down at the floor in embarrassment, Ryan answered,

"Oh, no one. I just fancied a meal out."

He was on the point of inviting himself, when he remembered that he'd promised Taylor a quiet night in. Chad sighed, wishing he could rearrange things with his wife.

"Sorry, man, I'm busy tonight as well. We could meet up sometime later in the week......if you want....."

His tone was hopeful and Ryan, not hiding his disappointment completely, nodded. They promised to arrange a proper meeting and were on the point of turning away from each other when Chad decided to embrace Ryan. Caught unawares, the smaller man froze for a moment and then squeezed back gently. Before he pulled away, he inhaled Chad's scent surreptitiously, something rising in his chest when he heard,

"I've missed you, Ry. We should have kept in touch."

They parted at the checkout, exchanging numbers and promising to call. As Ryan paid for his few items and walked out of the store, he had to prevent himself from whistling.

****

Taylor was simultaneously talking on the phone and taping her laptop keyboard when he returned. Putting the shopping away as quietly as he could, she gave him a quick thumbs up as he shut the last cupboard door and left the room.

Chad flopped down on the couch and, out of habit, switched on the sports channel. He watched the game blankly until he realised his team had scored twice in the last five minutes and he hadn't even moved an inch. Again and again he cast his mind back to the second coincidental encounter with Ryan, wondering if he should have invited him for a coffee or stayed and talked for longer. Hearing Taylor finish her phone call, he heaved himself up and went to fetch the tape measure for that bookcase of hers.

****

"Do you want chicken or beef?"

"Huh?"

Taylor repeated herself,

"Chicken or beef? I'm going to start the food soon."

Chad folded his paper and looked up at her, standing in the doorway with a packet of meat in each hand.

"Er, well, whatever you fancy."

She rolled her eyes and returned to the kitchen, leaving him alone in the lounge again.

The decision took all of one minute and even less for him to rush into the kitchen, phone in hand and ready for her accusations.

"I'm really sorry, Tay, but one of the guys from work says they think there's been a break in. I'm going to have to go and check on the office."

To his surprise, Taylor didn't fly off the handle and merely put the meat back in the fridge calmly.

"When will you be back? Do you want me to leave something out for you to heat up?"

He hadn't really planned what to say in answer to the inevitable questions, but at least she wasn't shouting. Chad shrugged, apologising again,

"I've got no idea, sorry. You remember the last time this happened? I was out for hours talking to the police."

She nodded, apparently unconcerned that their quiet evening in being postponed. He continued, as she opened up her laptop again,

"I'm going to walk to the store for some light bulbs. It may just be the police getting paranoid because the security lights have blown."

He was on the point of leaving when he turned at the last minute, walking towards her to plant a light kiss on her cheek. If he had hoped that would ease his guilt, he was disappointed but Taylor didn't appear to be at all fazed by the turn of events and continued typing.

****

Once the front door had shut behind him, Chad breathed in the clear summer air with relief. They hadn't argued at all since his storming out a couple of nights ago, but it was like treading on eggshells constantly and he desperately needed to escape, even if it was for only a few hours.

He walked down their driveway confidently until he reached the gate. Standing there pensively for a moment, he stared uncertainly back at the house, unaware that he was twisting the ring around his finger. Determined to see this through, Chad turned his back on the house and started off in the opposite direction to his office. As he walked, the pavement under his feet still warm from the day's sun, he found himself thinking back to the beginning of it all.

****

_Troy had heard it from Gabriella who, in turn, had heard from Taylor herself, so Chad, being the last one in the chain, felt a stab of jealousy before he even began to consider the best course of action._

_He sat in his empty flat, the phone resting silently beside him and tried to think things through as calmly as possible. Deciding, finally, he began dialing a familiar number._

_She arrived at the small Italian restaurant he'd picked out for it's relative privacy after him and, dressed in her smart office suit, found his table and pecked him on the cheek._

_For a while they made small talk, exchanging various pieces of inconsequential news about their respective days until the food arrived. Chad began to feel a chill of apprehension so great that he could hardly bear to look at his own plate of pasta. Once the wine had been poured, he sucked in a deep breath, took a large gulp of wine to steady his nerves and spoke,_

"_Taylor, we've been together since senior year, through university and now here we are; a couple working independently to earn a living."_

_He stood up and awkwardly bent down on one knee. She sat staring at him, a forkful of spaghetti halfway to her mouth. He cleared his throat and continued,_

"_Taylor McKessie, will you marry me?"_

_He presented her with a ring and she accepted it, beaming._

"_Oh Chad, thank you! Wait 'til I tell Gabi; she'll be thrilled."_

_She began listing possible wedding venues and arrangements to be made when he interrupted._

"_We need to talk about the baby, Tay. Troy told me all about it and I have some money –"_

_Looking up long enough from the sparkling ring, she cut in,_

"_I don't have it any more. I thought it was best to wait until we're both ready. It wouldn't be fair on the child."_

_Chad felt the bottom of his stomach drop out but Taylor didn't notice as she talked animatedly with Gabriella on the phone._

****

Chad approached that same small Italian slowly and, without realising the full extent of his actions, slid the ring off and left it in his pocket. He couldn't say then, or even after, why he had felt the need to do so when he had never intended anything to happen.

He pushed open the door of the restaurant, an odour of freshly cooked pasta welcoming him, and prayed that when he scanned the table, he would find the person he was looking for.

**Please review!**


	7. Chapter Six

**Chapter Six**

Chad scanned the faces of the restaurant's customers, all animated in conversation with each other. Towards the back, in a less well lit corner, he caught sight of a recognizable hat, just visible over the top of a menu.

He almost backed out there and then. After all, it would be so much easier to simply turn around and head home. On the point of making that decision, a voice to his left startled him,

"Table for one, sir?"

Finding his voice, he managed to answer,

"No, thank you. I'm meeting someone."

Chad nervously wiped his hands on his jeans and wended his way between the other tables. He reached the back of the restaurant and slid quietly into the empty chair, signaling to a passing waiter,

"A bottle of wine, please. Red."

Hearing his voice, Ryan lowered his menu in surprise. When he didn't comment straight away, Chad shifted uncomfortably in his chair.

"Sorry for just barging in. You said you'd be here and I was passing by, so – "

"I'm really glad you came," Ryan interrupted. "It was getting a little lonely sitting here by myself. Smooth entrance, by the way."

Chad chuckled softly, blushing.

"I wasn't really that confident. It was...Hey, watch it! You're going to set the place on fire!"

The edge of Ryan's menu, left too close to the candle, was smoking as the flame spread. Frantically, both he and Chad tried to smother it with their napkins. The waiter bringing their wine was able to assist them and clear the charred cardboard from the tablecloth. Taking a sip from his glass, Ryan's cheeks became the same colour as his drink.

"I guess I'm not quite as smooth as you."

Chad opened his mouth to respond but no witty comment came to him and suddenly it struck them simultaneously how ridiculous the situation was. The ice, if that had been any, was well and truly broken as they laughed together, wiping the tears from their eyes.

Several customers turned in their seats to stare at the pair of them; two adult men giggling like teenagers, and asked the head waiter to either quieten them down or eject them from the restaurant. Realising that their table was at stake, Chad and Ryan bit down on their bottom lips, desperately trying not to catch each other's eye, and placed their order.

Taking a gulp of wine, Chad tilted back in his chair, observing the man opposite. The blush, which had never disappeared entirely, bloomed once again on Ryan's cheeks as he asked,

"Why are you staring at me like that? Is there something on my face?"

Chad simply smiled and shook his head.

"No, no, there's nothing there. I was just......observing you. Trying to pick out any changes."

"And are there any?"

Again, that quiet smile as he replied,

"You're taller, for one thing, and you've let your hair grow slightly longer. Other than that; no, you look exactly like the Ryan I knew at high school."

Tracing patterns on the tablecloth with his finger, Ryan murmured an answer,

"You appear not to have aged since graduation at all. Still the same energetic, exuberant Chad from the Wildcat team." He looked up quickly. "I meant that like a good thing, though, not as if you – "

Chad raised a hand and silenced him immediately.

"Calm down, man. I took that remark as a compliment, don't worry. Now, if I recall rightly, we were going to meet up to talk, so spill. What's been going on in the world of Ryan Evans recently?"

Grateful that Chad hadn't let him continue with his nervous chatter, Ryan paused, considering where to begin, and then spoke.

"As you know, I've just moved out of my apartment in New York to come back here. I was sharing with Kelsi and......you know how things get........."

Chad nodded encouragingly to show he understood and motioned for Ryan to continue.

"Anyway, it's probably better that way, rather than arguing later and ending our friendship completely. Everything seems different at home, though. My parents don't seem to be talking as much, especially as my father is always away doing business or something, and Sharpay is.......well, to tell the truth, she's broken down."

Whilst Ryan spoke, Chad had been watching the shadow of the flickering candle flame dance across his face, reflecting pinpoints in his eyes. When his voice ceased, Chad blinked, shocked by the news.

"Broken down? _Sharpay_? I never imagined that happening."

Ryan sighed.

"I don't think anyone did, to be honest, and yet the signs were there. You must have lost contact with her, even though you were both at the U of A, but she only scraped through. After that she went to various auditions; starting from Broadway casting and ending up at TV commercials. I guess she never was a real star, not outside East High anyway, and now she's too vain to find a job and forget about acting."

His brow furrowed as he stared into space, his expression so pensive and melancholy it was all Chad could do not to reach out and cover the pale hand with his own.

Before he had the chance to form suitable words of comfort, their pasta dishes arrived and Ryan snapped back into the present with a grin, laughing as Chad accidentally dripped tomato sauce on the pristine white tablecloth.

The meal passed far too quickly for Chad's liking as they swapped outrageous rumours that had populated the corridors of East High concerning the Wildcat team and the Theatre Club.

In the midst of recounting one particular tale which featured several jocks being found in compromising positions, something which Chad brushed off as slander and refused to admit having had a part in it, Ryan began to cough violently, choking on a piece of bread. Chad reached across to pat him on the back, then realising that it was having not effect whatsoever, pushed his seat back and hurried round to the other side of the table. He grasped Ryan firmly around the chest, trying desperately to remember any scraps of information about first aid, when the bread became dislodged and Ryan breathed more easily.

"Are you alright? You really scared me there."

"Sorry....been laughing too much....." Ryan replied, gasping slightly as he drank a mouthful of water.

Chad released his grip on Ryan's slender, almost fragile chest slowly and sat back down in his own chair. The bill arrived rather quickly and after a semi-serious argument about payment (Ryan was allowed to use his card with the agreement that next time, he was emphatic about there being a 'next time,' Chad would be the one paying), they found themselves standing outside the restaurant in the light, drizzling rain.

"Why don't you," Ryan's voice was hesitant, "come back to mine for a coffee, if you want to continue talking......"

Chad didn't hesitate, putting the possible consequences out of his mind completely, as he interrupted.

"Yes, I'd love to. Please tell me you didn't bring the Vespa, though."

Laughing, Ryan directed him to a silver convertible and with a squeal of brakes, swung out of the car park and towards the Evans' family home.

****

The house was exactly as he would have pictured it: expansive, expensive and rather uninviting. He stood for a while, staring down the length of the lounge and out of the windows looking onto the large garden, as Ryan boiled water for their coffees.

"Here you go, milk and two sugars."

Chad took the cup with a smile and inhaled, his eyes widening as he took a sip.

"What _is _this stuff?"

"Fairtrade and organic, we only keep the best," Ryan replied smugly, obviously pleased with the reaction. "Come on, we can sit more comfortably upstairs."

Ryan led the way along the elegant hallway, Chad following slowly as he took in the paintings and delicate ornaments. Compared to the home he grew up in, this was a museum, the very image of a model home which did not lend itself to the rough games he had played with Troy and the others. It was no wonder, he thought smiling to himself, that Ryan and Sharpay excelled in Theatre when their childhood home was practically a movie set.

The house itself was eerily quiet, although when he asked, Ryan informed him that both his mother and sister were in despite the only sound being their footsteps muffled by the thick carpet. They passed a door painted a vivid pink, emblazoned with a sign reading, "Sharpay's Room – Always knock before entering," and turned right down a corridor to a plain white door marked, "Ryan."

Chad breathed a sigh of relief at the normality of the room, glad that while everything oozed wealth and expensive taste, it felt lived in rather than preserved to perfection. Ryan cleared his throat anxiously, kicking a pair of balled up socks under the bed, unsure where to put himself. Flicking idly through the large, well ordered CD collection Chad realised that Ryan was waiting anxiously for his verdict and tried to put him at ease.

"It's great, Ry. If I'd known your room was as cool as this, I would have been round here all the time when we were at school together."

Grinning, relieved, Ryan gestured at the shelves filled with DVDs.

"Want to watch a movie or something. I haven't only got musicals, there's......."

His voice tailed off has he tilted his head to read the titles. Selecting a couple he turned, saying,

"How about – "

The words caught in his throat as he stood only inches apart from Chad. A blush crept up from his neck to his cheeks and, averting his gaze, he stuttered slightly,

"If....if you want there's......"

Chad lifted his arms to cup Ryan's face, waiting until the striking blue eyes looked up and caught his gaze. No longer able to resist, Ryan glanced up quickly but before he had a chance to break their eye contact, Chad crushed their mouths together in a bruising kiss. Ryan stood motionless in shock until Chad pushed himself away with what appeared to be great effort. Unable to prevent himself, Ryan inhaled a shallow breath as Chad took a step back, his expression filled with confusion. He moved further away slowly until his legs hit the back of the sofa.

"I......._really _don't know what just happened. I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to......"

His voice halted when Ryan walked towards him, reaching a hand forward to brush his lips and trail his fingers through the tightly curled hair. The touch was intoxicating, sending a chill down Chad's spine and any attempts to protest where soon squashed when Ryan pressed their mouths together once more.

Unable to resist, Chad knocked the signature hat onto the floor, wanting to feel the fine, blond hair beneath his fingers and the soft skin at the back of Ryan's neck as he pulled him closer.

Ryan deepened the kiss, his tongue pressing insistently against Chad's teeth until he was granted access to explore fully. He pushed forward, one hand firmly rooted in Chad's hair whilst the other gripped him around the waist, enjoying the feel of each muscle moving under the skin as they both fought for the upper hand. As he slipped a hand beneath the thin cotton tshirt and trailed his fingernails along the warm skin, Chad's knees buckled, tipping them both over the back of the sofa.

They landed in a tangle of foraging hands and bent limbs, not allowing the kiss to break as it become more frantic and rough. Leaning back for just a second to catch his breath, Ryan hastily removed his shirt, showing complete disregard for the expensive fabric as it landed on the floor. Chad followed his example and wrapped his arms around Ryan's lithe torso, his eyes closing as their chests were pressed together, the heat becoming almost unbearable.

Sliding his hands under the waistband of Ryan's trousers, he groaned as the other man began to roll his hips, creating a glorious friction between their growing erections. Ryan trailed kisses along his jawline, searching for the throb of Chad's pulse in his neck. Finding it, he bit down hard, sucking on the skin as Chad's eye flew open. Breathlessly, he whispered,

"I'll be right back.......Need to fetch things......."

Chad allowed him to clamber off the sofa, not entirely sure what had agreed to. Painfully hard, he awaited Ryan's return impatiently, trying desperately to force the feelings of guilt somewhere in his stomach out of mind. It was wrong; completely and utterly wrong what they were doing and he entertained a brief idea of making a hasty exit, but Ryan soon reappeared and the moral voice of his conscience became distorted and easier to ignore.

Ryan sat on the edge of the sofa, unopened box of condoms and a bottle of clear liquid in his hands, looking for the first time since Chad had kissed him, embarressed.

"I....I'm not normally like this, really......I'm not sure what got into me, if you want to stop......."

Chad sat up, resting on his elbows, his voice unsteady as he caught sight of the bulge in Ryan's trousers.

"Don't stop.....please......I need....something.....this...."

Words failed him so he grabbed hold of Ryan's waist and reversed their positions, pinning him to the sofa. Tracing circles around the pale pink nipples, he bit gently and shook his head as Ryan asked,

"Have you done this before?"

Stripping both their trousers and, with no less speed, their boxers off, Chad groaned as their erections brushed and allowed his fingers to be coated in the cool liquid. Ryan rolled over and, using guesswork and whatever information he had gleaned from university, he inserted one finger, two fingers, scissoring them and hoping he was doing it right. Judging by Ryan's increasing moans, he was on the right track and removed his fingers quickly to search for the box of condoms. His hands shook as he ripped the foil wrapper and rolled it down his erection and, with encouraging noises from Ryan, he grasped the slender hips and pushed himself inside, praying he wasn't causing any pain but unable to enter gradually.

The heat was unlike anything he'd ever felt before as he began thrusting in and out, Ryan clenching around him so the tightness increased. Before long he had lost any sense of rhythm and concentrated instead on moving faster and deeper, his nails grazing the pale skin of Ryan's thighs.

He noticed Ryan frantically stroking himself and reached around to take over, matching the movements of his hand with the thrusts. Feeling a gathering pressure signaling his orgasm, he jerked Ryan as fast as he could, feeling the smaller body shudder beneath him. Temporarily blinded, Chad came, finally, and tried to ride it out for as long as he could, unwilling for the feeling to end.

He collapsed at last and withdrew as Ryan rolled over onto his back. Leaning in, Chad kissed him gently, pressing their sweat-soaked bodies together. Ryan brushed the stray curls out of his eyes, a wide smile threatening to split his face in two. Chad mirrored his expression and, laughing for no other reason than the immense feeling of post-orgasm joy, pulled Ryan into a tight hug.

Chad rested his head on the angular shoulder and allowed his gaze to wonder around the room. With a start, he noticed the clock and his temporary bubble was burst, bringing him sharply back to earth.

"Ryan, I really need to get back now. I'm sorry, but it's kinda late and I have work tomorrow."

With a sigh, Ryan pulled away, adding hopefully,

"You can stay here if you want. There's a spare room made up next door if you don't want to sleep in this room"

Reality sinking in painfully, Chad shook his head and gathered his clothes, the heavy feeling in his chest growing by the minute.

Both fully dressed, they stood in the hallway, Ryan kissing him softly goodbye as he promised to arrange something soon.

****

Taylor was sleeping soundly when he returned, not stirring an inch when he fell into bed, exhaustion washing over him. Rolling onto his side, he stared at the narrow beam of light from the street lamp shining through a chink in the curtains.

Behind him, the mattress rustled as Taylor shifted slightly, sighing as she pressed herself against his back. Chad tugged the duvet up under his chin, trying desperately to close his eyes and sleep, but unable to put images of Ryan, his pale skin flushed as he kissed goodbye, out of his mind. The leaden weight in his chest grew heavier as Taylor slung her arm over his waist while he watched the hands on the clock face tick closer to dawn.

**A/N: I've noticed quite a few people adding this fic to their alerts/favourites without reviewing. Please could you leave something, even if it's very short, because it really encourages me to continue writing. Thank you.**


	8. Chapter Seven

**Chapter Seven**

The alarm clock's piercing ring shook Chad out of a rather disturbing dream in which Taylor was chasing him with a baseball bat whilst Ryan pelted him with his entire hat collection. Shaking his head in an attempt to clear his thoughts, he sat up and noticed a sheet of paper on Taylor's vacant pillow. He picked it up and, rubbing his eyes to clear away the cobwebs of sleep, read:

_Chad,_

_I've had to leave for an early meeting and didn't think you'd want to be woken. There's a couple of pancakes in the kitchen for your breakfast._

_T x_

He dressed slowly, his thighs and back aching from the night before. Tidying his hair in the bathroom mirror, he watched himself blush and grin sheepishly at the memory. Humming brightly, Chad all but skipped down the stairs and into the kitchen. His cheerful, almost euphoric mood was abruptly punctured as he caught sight of the plate of pancakes on the table.

The buoyant feeling was suddenly replaced with nausea and a heaviness resting somewhere around his naval. He stared at the plate for a moment then impulsively tipped the contents into the bin, grabbed and apple and headed off to work.

****

By eleven o'clock he was in desperate need of some caffeine so, putting his computer on standby, he followed the mid-morning rush to the coffee machine and waited impatiently in the queue. As he reached up to punch in the numbers for a double espresso, a voice behind him interrupted his thoughts, asking,

"Trouble with the wife?"

Stunned, Chad searched his memory for any obvious clues which may have allowed his colleague to make the all too true assumption. He began to deny it when he suddenly noticed his left hand, the heavy gold band's absence making his finger look naked in the harsh light of the office. Mumbling an excuse, he extracted his coffee and hurried back to his computer, searching frantically through his pockets for the ring.

From the other side of the room he heard his name being called repeatedly.

"Danforth, phone call for you. Are you listening to me, Danforth? _Chad Danforth_!"

He looked up and realised that his boss was gesturing angrily in his direction and pointing at the phone. Wondering what could be so urgent, he rushed over and the receiver was thrust into his hand.

"Hello?"

The voice at the other end was nothing short of ecstatic.

"Chad! I was worried I wouldn't be able to get through, but your boss seemed happy enough when I explained I was calling about a logo you'd designed."

"Ryan?" Chad asked incredulously. "How on earth did you find the number?"

"A little thing called the phone book. Did you know there are five other graphic design companies in Albuquerque? I wouldn't have thought New Mexico needed so many, but I guess – "

Chad cut in quickly before his boss became suspicious,

"Well, it's really nice to hear from you, but I'm kinda busy right now. Can I call you back later?"

Ryan sounded a little put out.

"Oh, I was ringing to see if you wanted to get lunch with me."

Checking the time and noticing his boss standing with his hands on his hips, watching him, he replied quietly,

"Yeah, that'd be great. I get off at one so – "

" – I'll come and pick you up in two hours then."

Ending the call a swiftly as possible, Chad tried to slip back to his desk when his boss intercepted him.

"Problem with your designs?"

"Er......no, they're fine. He just wanted to check the final copy before it's printed."

The other man rolled his eyes and walked away, muttering,

"Think we can't do our job right......"

Chad breathed out slowly and collapsed in his chair. He stared at his screen saver for a few minutes until his eyes darted back to the clock.

One hour, fifty-five minutes........

****

As Chad stepped out of the office building, a familiar silver convertible screeched to a halt in front of him, the driver waving enthusiastically. He opened the passenger door and slid in, ignoring the stares of his colleagues smoking nearby.

Ryan leaned across to brush a featherlight kiss against his cheek, causing a pleasurable shiver to course through Chad's body. Noticing his reaction, Ryan laughed with such ease that Chad couldn't prevent the corners of his mouth upturning in a wide grin.

They sped off towards the centre of town, Chad asking,

"So, where are you taking me?"

Ryan replied mysteriously,

"Somewhere I'm pretty sure you haven't been before, but the food's delicious and it's relatively quiet."

Ryan pulled up outside an unprepossessing building, indistinguishable from any of the others that lined the street. They stepped inside together, Chad slightly behind, a bell tinkling at their entrance.

Seated at a table small enough that their legs touched at the slightest movement, Ryan ordered his favourite for both of them as Chad took in their cramped surroundings.

"I never knew this place existed and I've lived in Albuquerque my whole life. How did you find it?"

Ryan looked down at the fraying tablecloth as he answered,

"I used to come here all the time with Shar, after our Saturday morning dance class. She loved it here, despite it's....." He searched for an appropriate word. ".......appearance. The Sharpay you knew at school......she was different here, more relaxed.....more _fun_. Of course, now she wouldn't dream of setting foot in here. Funny how things change, isn't it?"

He raised his eyes to stare out of the clouded window, looking onto the quiet street. This time Chad didn't hesitate and stretched his hand to grip Ryan's tightly, stroking it gently with his thumb. Ryan sighed and flicked his gaze back to Chad.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to lower the tone like that."

"Hey, it's okay, man. Tell me about it; your Saturday meals with Sharpay."

Their food arrived as Ryan was mid-flow, describing in detail the time when he'd forgotten his dance shoes and was made to wear his sister's spare pair.

"......and if enjoying wearing pink ballet shoes didn't make me gay, I don't know what did!"

Giggling together, Chad allowed his foot to brush up the other man's leg slowly, stopping when Ryan's expression became more serious.

"I seem to be spilling all my problems to you and not letting you get a word in. Promise me you'll talk about any problems you have."

Chad clenched his jaw and tried to keep his tone light.

"I promise, Ry. If I'm having a crisis, you'll be the first to know about it."

Ryan didn't seem to be aware of the tension and allowed Chad to pay the bill with a generous tip before they left the tiny restaurant and headed back to the office.

****

The smokers had disappeared inside leaving the front car park completely deserted in a light summer drizzle. Suddenly uncertain, Ryan appeared to be considering how best to take his leave when Chad grasped the back of his neck and pulled him into a searing kiss.

Breaking it, panting slightly, Ryan asked nervously,

"Do you.....do you not mind if anyone sees?"

Chad refused to allow any feelings of guilt to override his desire and shook his head.

"Doesn't matter, nothing matters."

Pressing his mouth against Ryan's, he struggled to position himself comfortably in the confined space. Unwilling to pass the opportunity up, Chad awkwardly crawled through the seats to the back, dragging Ryan with him.

The pristine black leather squeaked as they adjusted themselves; Ryan straddling Chad who lay back on the seat, his knees bent. Slipping his hand beneath the hem of Ryan's shirt, Chad stroked the smooth pale skin before focusing on the ornate belt buckle.

Realising that he was struggling, Ryan replaced Chad's hands with his own, pulling the zip down swiftly. Chad plunged a hand inside, grasping Ryan's semi-erection as he felt his own trousers being undone. Within minutes they built up a steady, insistent rhythm, their breaths coming in shallow gasps.

Watching Ryan, lips parted, eyes closed, Chad noticed a bead of sweat begin to slide down his pale throat. He forced himself to sit up, almost throwing Ryan off balance, and bit down savagely on his neck. Ryan's shuddering groan and the wandering hand that knotted itself amongst his curls spurred him on as he traced kisses on every inch of pale skin he could reach. Wrapping his legs tightly around Chad's waist, Ryan allowed himself to be lowered backwards onto the leather seat, grasping a handful of Chad's tshirt to bring their mouths together once again.

Their hands continued moving in unison, each enjoying the feeling of the other's erection whilst their own was taken care of. Chad slid down Ryan's body, undoing shirt buttons as he went and enjoying the moan of protest when he paused the stroking action of his hand.

He'd gone this far, surely this wouldn't be too much? Pausing for only a second, he took Ryan into his mouth whole, trying to relax his jaw and throat. A year ago, even last month, he wouldn't have considered wrapping his mouth around another guy's erection, much less discovered it to be far more erotic than anything he'd experienced.

As his began sliding his mouth up and down, Ryan threw his head back with a groan, the loud thump it made against the car door hardly seeming to bother him. In the cramped space Chad felt the muscles in his legs protest as they were contorted, but the captivating sight of Ryan's narrow chest shuddering put all thoughts of discomfort out of his mind.

Feeling more confident, he grazed his teeth along Ryan's length, taking him in right to the back of his throat. Hips bucking, Ryan thrust himself faster into Chad's mouth until, all of a sudden, he froze before he came, his whole body shaking.

Swallowing, as if it he'd done it countless time before, Chad winked cockily at Ryan.

"Bet you never thought a jock's mouth could be so skillful."

Ryan caught his breath, and replied with a familiar gleam in his eye,

"Well, that certainly was a decent attempt, but I think more practice will help you improve further."

Chad pinned Ryan roughly to the seat, whispering in his ear,

"Is that a promise? That you'll allow me to practice more, I mean."

Pulling Chad's mouth to his, kissing him softly, Ryan murmured,

"They say practice makes perfect, but seeing as you already are I don't think we'll lose anything by continuing this."

He emphasised the last word with a sharp tug on Chad's throbbing erection, making him squeeze his eyes tightly shut and forget the guilt, forget the deception and forget his own name.

****

Scorched by the heat of the summer sun, the population of Albuquerque spent as much time as possible reclining in their back yards, a cool beer in hand with a couple of friends content to watch the few clouds drift across the clear sky in companionable silence.

Chad's office was unbearably stuffy and he wasted many hours simply staring out of the small window, watching the world go by and waiting for his lunch break or the end of the day; whenever he had agreed to meet Ryan.

The weather didn't seem to affect Taylor in the slightest as she dressed each morning in formal clothes, ready for another tiring day full of meetings and paperwork. Her attitude towards Chad, however, had relaxed considerably; she no longer yelled if she came home and found him watching a game, but, truth be told, these days he was hardly ever home.

He fed Ryan excuse after excuse, blaming decorators, electricians, anyone who made his house unsuitable for their liaisons. Ryan never complained, he seemed perfectly happy to invite Chad to the Evans' family home again and again where they were never bothered by either his parents or Sharpay.

The eager anticipation and the fluttering feeling in his stomach that preceded their frequent meetings never faded, and it became easier and easier for Chad to live his double life and suppress any whisperings from his moral conscience.

Despite this, periodically, he stared at his reflection in the bathroom mirror, examining himself from every angle, wondering if his appearance gave the slightest indication of his deceit. He knew deep down, no matter how many times he saw Ryan and pushed thoughts of Taylor out of mind, that it would all have to come out sometime. He may have become adept at lies, something which he never would have imagine possible having always been known for speaking the truth when no one else would at high school, but over time they began to eat away at him whenever he turned over in bed and watched Taylor sleep, completely unaware of his betrayal.

****

Lying on his back, his arm wrapped around Ryan's body who lay draped across his chest, Chad couldn't recall ever feeling more peaceful and content. Ryan traced a pattern across his bare skin, his fair hair tickling slightly, and Chad lifted his head to press a gentle kiss to Ryan's forehead.

"Sorry, Ry, I've really got to pee. Could you just move slightly?"

Ryan reluctantly rolled off him, following Chad with his eyes as he walked across the bedroom to the en suite bathroom. Already missing his warm, comforting presence, Ryan drummed his fingers on the mattress impatiently, a grin spreading across his face as he thought back to their afternoon activities.

The shrill ring of Chad's phone coming from the heap of clothes on the floor near the bed woke him out of his reverie. He ignored it at first, hoping whoever it was would hang up when Chad didn't answer straight away, but the caller persisted. With a sigh he reached down and rummaged through Chad's jeans pockets, answering the phone without checking the caller I.D,

"Hello, Chad's busy at the moment, could you – "

" – who is this?"

The voice was vaguely familiar and Ryan searched through his memory for a face to match it. He replied hesitantly,

"Ryan Evans, Chad's.......friend from high school."

"Ryan! I didn't even know you were back in New Mexico!"

It struck him instantly, and he smiled as he spoke,

"Taylor, isn't it? Long time, no speak. How've you been?"

"Oh, fine, fine. Busy, but well. We really should meet up some time to chat."

Visualising a perfect summer evening spent in both Taylor and Chad's company, Ryan was silent and jumped when he was asked,

"So, why are you answering Chad's phone? He needs to come home straight away, this instant. Sorry to deprive you of his company, but I need him here right now."

Taken aback by Taylor's vehemence, Ryan stuttered,

"Home.........are you........._living_ with Chad? I never knew you were still in touch."

Taylor laughed, answering in her lecturing tone he remember clearly from his days at East High,

"Well, you see, Ryan, when two people are married, they do tend to live under one roof."

Ryan's mouth went dry, his whole body numb. The en suite door opened and Chad stepped back into the room, his voice cheerful until his noticed Ryan's expression.

"So, where were we? Ryan.........?"

Letting the phone slip through his fingers, Taylor's insistent voice abruptly cut off, Ryan mouthed wordlessly and pushed Chad away as he tried to wrap his arms around him. Trying to distance himself from Chad as much as possible, Ryan hunched his shoulders, his eyes fixed on the carpet as he whispered shakily,

"You're.......married......"

Chad's ran his tongue over his dry lips, desperately searching for some explanation or apology. Anything that would fill the sudden void between them, but he kept drawing blanks.

Speaking again, Ryan's voice shook,

"Taylor wants you home now. Get dressed and go."

Unable to stop himself, Chad walked towards him, but tripped on his jeans that lay in a pile of his clothes which they had so quickly discarded with only a few hours ago. He pulled them on unwillingly, his limbs stiff and his mouth dry.

Fully clothed, he began to speak, but his words, completely devoid of meaning, seemed to go unheard. Ryan reached for the bedroom doorknob and clicked it open, his gesture having more impact than a thousand screamed insults.

Chad spoke hesitantly, before he left,

"I can explain, Ry. Let me – "

Ryan's voice was stronger and more resolute when he interrupted, but he refused to look Chad in the eye.

"Just go."

A tangle of words caught in his throat, Chad found himself stepping through the open doorway. As he turned back to offer a meaningless apology, the door swung shut in his face and he heard the unmistakable sound of a muffled sob.

**Please review!**


	9. Chapter Eight

**Chapter Eight**

Out of habit, Chad reached inside his jacket pocket and fished out his ring, slipping it onto his finger. He walked unsteadily up the driveway to his front door, legs unwilling to take him any closer. Turning his key in the lock, the door was suddenly flung open by Taylor, flushed with excitement and talking so fast her words were incomprehensible. She waved a thin, white object in his face as she stepped back slightly to let him close the door.

Still shaken from her earlier phone call, Chad had trouble focusing, but with great effort he brought his attention back to the present. She was babbling about doctor's appointments and plans when he decided to interrupt her.

"Taylor, what's the matter? Why did you call me so urgently?"

Rolling her eyes, she shoved the object into his hand.

"I'm pregnant, Chad. Look at the test."

He felt as if he'd been physically winded in a Wildcat game and studied the pregnancy test in his hand mutely.

There was no mistaking it: She was pregnant. With his child.

For one fleeting moment, he caught himself seriously considering the possibility that she too had been having an affair, but that was an impossibility. Workaholic she may be, but dishonest? Despite her flaws, Taylor had never to his knowledge lied for personal gain. Come too think of it, he'd never thought himself to be adept at deceit. That was, of course, before Ryan had reappeared and turned everything he knew about himself upside down.

He stood silently, eyes unfocused as he cast his mind back to their fateful meeting at the airport terminal. Taylor clicked her fingers in front of his face impatiently and he questioned without thinking,

"So, is it mine?"

Surprisingly, she didn't shout at him for daring to even question her fidelity. Instead, she shook her head in disbelief and lifted the phone of the hook.

"Honestly, Chad, I don't know how you could even think that. I'm calling Gabi, she was dying to know what your reaction would be."

Shutting the lounge door behind her, Taylor left Chad still standing motionless in the hallway. He leaned back against the wall, allowing his shaking legs to give way as he slid down to the floor. Through the wall he could hear Taylor's chatter interspersed with laughter and he drew his knees up to his chest, wrapping his arms around them.

How could this be happening? Everything that was certain, everything he was sure of; how could it all have changed in the space of an hour?

His afternoon with Ryan now felt like a different lifetime, one where he had chosen differently and ended up sharing an apartment in New York with the Drama King of East High instead of living only a street away from his childhood home with a woman who felt like a stranger.

Thoughts of fine, blond hair and a smile that never failed to make him giddy occupied his mind briefly, until the image of that narrow, pale face, eyes wide in disbelief crashed into his consciousness. His chest tightened as the leaden feeling in his stomach grew. It had never really left, not when he clasped the warm, lithe body to his own, nor when he lay in bed with Taylor, his dreams filled with images of his activities earlier that night. Until now, he'd never taken the time to put into words what it was he had been doing. Eyes closed, he whispered under his breath,

"I cheated."

After that admission he wasn't able to prevent the torrent that followed.

"Stupid, disgusting, lying, idiot, _cheat_."

The tears leaked from the corners of his eyes, his body shaking with the effort of trying to keep quiet. Burying his face in his hands, he choked out,

"R-r-ryan.....how could I.......do this to you?"

Taylor's giggling cut through the heavy silence of the hallway and he dragged himself up, grabbing the car keys and letting the front door swing shut with a click.

****

He drove erratically, vision blurred slightly and his head throbbing. His hands twitched constantly at the wheel until he finally decided that killing himself by driving dangerously was not the best option. The familiar looming building of East High appeared to his left and without a second thought, he pulled up at the front steps.

Shifting in his seat he struggled to extract his phone from the pockets of his closely fitting jeans. With a stabbing pain, he remembered the shopping trip with Ryan only week ago. After a heated debate, teasing on his part as he watched Ryan become more and more frustrated, he had agreed to buy the almost indecently tight jeans. He'd changed into them every evening after work since then, finding something comforting in the way the material clung to him when he couldn't spend his nights clinging to Ryan himself.

Chad flicked quickly onto a number so familiar he could probably recite it from memory. He heard the phone ring out until it reached the voicemail message:

"_Hey, it's Ryan here, well, I'm not _here _exactly or I would have picked up your call. Anyway, please leave me a message and I'll call you back as soon as I get it. Have a good day, whoever and wherever you are – "_

Before the recording beep could sound, Chad canceled the call and redialed. Again, he heard the phone ring out only this time, and every subsequent time he tried, his call was cut off. Stabbing the number in mechanically, he dialed again and again until the calm, computerised voice informed him that 'this user's phone is switched off.'

He thumped his head repeatedly against the steering wheel, unable to ignore the hollow feeling that had been growing, enveloping him, since Taylor's fateful phone call.

****

Chad barely noticed the days passing, they all blurred together and he often pinched himself to make sure that this was actually happening and wasn't the surreal product of a daydream at work.

Taylor, who barely ever sat still, was constantly rushing in and out of the house. She would return home from work, only rarely bothering to sit down and eat, leave almost instantly and collapse into bed exhausted later. She attended countless doctor's appointments, only sometimes insisting Chad accompany her, but whenever he inquired about the baby's (he found it difficult to think, let alone say the word) progress she would shrug, adding as she pressed a distracted kiss on his cheek,

"Oh, well it's all female stuff, really. You probably don't want to get mixed up in all that, but everything is going fine."

****

A week later, Chad stumbled into the house after a draining day at the office, desperate for some peace and solitude despite the aching memories of Ryan which filled his thoughts if he didn't distract himself quick enough.

He began climbing the stairs, but paused with his foot raised above the bottom step as the sound of voices and a sudden explosion of laughter drifted out into the hallway. Furrowing his brow, he tried to remember if Taylor had mentioned the arrival of any visitors that morning. He pushed open the lounge door and heard Taylor's clear, ringing tone as she announced,

"And here's the man himself! Come in, Chad. Look who's arrived from California."

Glowing with an unsettling orange tinge, Troy waved at Chad from his seat on the sofa and Gabriella floated across the room to embrace him. Chad's spirits had risen inexplicably when he'd first heard the voices; for a moment he had allowed himself to imagine Ryan charming Taylor as he convinced her that their marriage was a mistake. When the stark reality hit, he felt the weight pull him down once again and chastised himself for daring to even hope for a reconciliation between his wife and his.......lover? That word seemed to cheap for Ryan; as if Chad had only used him for sex and nothing more. He began searching for an appropriate label when he realised that three pairs of eyes were fixed on him, waiting for his reaction.

"Er, hi guys, nice of you to pay a surprise visit."

From the corner in which she had settled, Gabriella's tinkling giggle rang out.

"Taylor invited us, Chad. We're staying for a week just to see how she's getting on, and we'll come again when the baby is due."

Chad fought not to show his disappointment and went to sit next to Troy on the sofa, their earlier conversation continuing from where he'd interrupted.

"I've seen some gorgeous baby clothes at a store in our local mall, Tay. Maybe you could visit us sometime soon and we could go shopping together."

"That's a good idea, I might be able to – "

With only half his attention on Taylor and Gabriella's discussion about the qualities of different types of babywear, Troy's voice in his ear still managed to make him jump.

"Well done, man. Congratulations!"

Chad allowed an arm to be wrapped around his shoulders as he stuttered,

"Huh? What – "

"The _baby_! Well done for......doing that."

Chad almost laughed out loud at the awkwardness with which Troy reconciled Taylor's pregnancy and the physical activities which must have proceeded it, but the bitter taste left in his mouth at the thought of it quelled his sudden burst of humour and he mumbled,

"Yeah, thanks......very exciting, all this...."

He gestured vaguely in Taylor's direction and Troy nodded sagely, tightening his arm uncomfortably around Chad.

****

The week had trickled by at an unreasonably slow pace, despite the fact that every day was filled with an exhausting combination of shopping, restaurants and non stop talk about 'the future of my child,' as Taylor liked to put it. She seemed to be more preoccupied with the idea of being the world's best 'professional mom,' than actually considering the extent to which having a baby would impact her precious career.

Uncorking a bottle of wine in the kitchen, Chad plastered on a smile and carried four glasses into the lounge. Troy called a toast to the 'new parents-to-be' and clapped Chad on the back once again.

"I can't believe it's the end of the week already! I wish we could stay longer, but we'll be back as soon as we can."

Gabriella sighed and added,

"I would be nice to see some of the others next time as well; Sharpay, Ryan.......what happened to them?"

Struggling to find a way to change the subject, Chad looked down at the carpet intently and took a large gulp of wine just as Taylor replied,

"Well, I'm not sure about Sharpay, but Chad saw Ryan recently and – "

She broke off as Chad coughed, choking as he swallowed his wine too quickly. He forced himself not to meet their concerned glances, shrugging out of Troy's reach as he was slapped on the back, and muttered an excuse about getting some fresh air.

Standing on the driveway in the gathering darkness, he felt in his pocket for his phone and, knowing he wouldn't have long, exhaled deeply and dialed the one number he hadn't dared to call 'til now.

****

The phone's ring echoed in the empty hallway for a full minute, until Mrs Evans glided across the tiled floor and picked up the receiver.

"Hello, Darby Evans speaking."

A little taken aback at the sound of Ryan's mother's soft, well spoken voice, Chad paused briefly before throwing all caution to the wind and asking,

"Could I speak to Mr Ryan Evans, please? I'm calling from a casting agency."

"Of course, one moment."

He heard the phone being placed on hall table and footsteps as Mrs Evans went in search of her son. Chad searched desperately for the right way in which to express his feelings, but was still unprepared when the phone was picked up again.

"Hi, this is Ryan Evans. I'm not really looking for any work at the moment, but thanks I – "

"Ryan! It's me, Chad."

The pleasant, business-like tone vanished instantly and was replaced with one much colder.

"What do you want, Danforth? You had no right to call here."

"I know, but Ry, I need to talk to you. I have to explain."

"I don't see anything that needs explaining. From where I'm standing, you cheated on your wife because you felt like trying out something new and completely disregarded the feelings of the person experimented with."

"No, it's not like that.....well, it is....but not in the way you think......"

Mouth dry, Chad struggled to find the right words. Realising that Ryan could hang up at any moment, he blurted out,

"Yes, I did cheat on her, but you weren't an experiment, honestly. What I felt.......what I feel for you is......"

Ryan took advantage of Chad's unfinished sentence to add,

"How could you _do_ that to Taylor?"

"I don't......love her, Ryan, I don't think I ever did properly, even at high school. It's you I – "

" – don't say it. Just......don't."

Ryan cut in, harsh and bitter sounding, but he couldn't hide the tremor as his voice as it shook. Taking a deep breath, audible to Chad on the other end of the line, he steeled himself and spoke again,

"Is she alright, though? She sounded quite frantic on the phone."

"Er.....she's fine, her normal self."

Knowing that he couldn't hide reality behind any more lies, he continued with great effort,

"She's, well.........she's pregnant."

Chad's words reverberated in the heavy silence between them, and he almost missed Ryan's pained whisper.

"You look after that child, Chad..........I have to get away, this is too much..........."

With a clatter the line went dead, but Chad continued standing on the dimly light driveway, the phone still glued to his ear.

**Please review!**


	10. Chapter Nine

**Chapter Nine**

Motionless in the silent hallway, Ryan's mind was oddly clear considering the news he had just received. His return to Albuquerque had only created painful problems which were now out of his control completely; Sharpay seemed to despise him, his mother had become distant and Chad..............His carefully unemotional thinking ground to a halt as the image of a broad, welcoming smile and wild, tightly coiled curls slipped unintentionally into his thoughts.

It was ironic, really, he thought with a humourless smile. His private crush, secret even from Sharpay who would have forbidden him from viewing a Wildcat that way, at high school had become his lover as an adult and had been, in turn, keeping their relationship secret from his wife. Fate, Ryan considered dispassionately, was cruel and unforgiving, but one thing was certain: he had to get out of this situation, something which could only be achieved if he were to physically leave.

With purpose directing his legs, he strode quickly across the hallway and up the sweeping staircase.

****

Troy, having no doubt been sent by Taylor to bring him inside, stepped out onto the driveway and followed the direction of Chad's eyes as he stared, unseeing, up at the darkened sky.

For a moment, Chad felt an almost irrepressible urge to share everything with his high school best friend, just as they had so many years ago when they spent hours everyday up in the Boltons' treehouse. Troy broke the silence and Chad's sudden nostalgic yearning ended abruptly,

"Aren't the stars beautiful tonight? Reminds me of when I proposed to Gabriella; it was like this then........."

Chad must have heard about their engagement a hundred times, but as Troy's voice washed over him, he felt his eyes prick with fresh tears. Whether he was crying for his own marriage, which differed so greatly from Troy's, or for the loss of the one person who had genuinely loved him, caused by his own selfish greed, he couldn't say. Angling himself away from Troy, he wiped his face as best he could, cleared his throat and allowed himself to be led back indoors.

****

Ryan awoke early from a fitful sleep in which he had tossed and turned, searching for comfort in a bed that felt far too vast for himself alone. Taking advantage of the time, he began gathering a collection of necessary belongings, throwing them into a suitcase, the very one he had unpacked so recently.

As he felt beneath the bed, his fingers lighted on a soft bundle which he pulled out to examine. A pair of Chad's socks lay crumpled and soft in his hands and he dropped them, as if stung, when a memory caught him unawares.

****

_Collapsing onto the bed, still giggling, Chad grabbed Ryan's waist and pulled him down on top._

"_Did you see their faces? It was worth getting thrown out the store just for that!"_

_Ryan adopted a serious tone as he mockingly chastised,_

"_That was a high school prank, we should be far too old for that sort of nonsense."_

_Chad shoved Ryan off his chest and straddled his waist, grinning._

"_You enjoyed it, though, and you seemed to be having far more fun than you ever did at East High."_

_Nodding, Ryan stroked Chad's muscled forearms, staring into the distance as he spoke,_

"_I didn't particularly relish my time there, but you.........." His voice trailed off and became an embarressed whisper, "You were my high school crush, even Sharpay never found out."_

_In the silence that followed, he looked worriedly up at Chad, fearing that he had gone too far, only to have his mouth captured in a gentle kiss. As Chad bit his neck gently, Ryan heard him murmur,_

"_If only you'd said something then, we wouldn't be in this situation now."_

_Forcing himself to focus on Chad's words, rather than his actions, at least for the time being, he answered,_

"_But we've found each other now and there's nothing to stop us."_

_Chad's reply was uncertain at first which Ryan took to be emotions clouding his thought processes._

"_Yeah......yeah, nothing stopping us now."_

_All attempts at coherency were abandoned as their clothes were quickly removed, the kisses becoming more insistent as their bodies twined together._

_Later, the sweat on their skin drying in the slight breeze which fluttered through the open windows, they held each other close, whispering in a way that only made sense to those whose hearts were still beating erratically after a passionate lovemaking. _

_The unmistakable buzz of a new text message interrupted their post-orgasm cocoon and as Chad sat up, Ryan used what little energy he had in attempting to pull him back down. Laughing, Chad batted his hands away and flipped open his phone. Ryan watched his jaw clench as he read the message and felt a slight jolt of alarm at Chad's expression and the serious tone of his voice._

"_Shit, I really have to go, I......we.......the electrician has done something wrong and the power has....er.....switched off. Sorry, Ry, this is urgent." _

_He looked longingly back at the bed and leaned forward to whisper in Ryan's ear, sending a shiver up his spine, _

"_I wish I could stay, you have no idea how much."_

_Placing a deep kiss on his lips, Ryan wrapped his arms around Chad's neck and held onto him for __as long as possible. Chad broke the contact eventually and loosened Ryan's arms, before dressing hastily. Ryan made no attempt to rise and was content to watch the tightly fitting jeans he'd personally selected slide over hips marked by his own teeth. Crawling back onto the bed, Chad was unable to resist kissing Ryan's pale, warm skin and left, promising to call whenever "that damn electrician was finished."_

_Straightening the bed sheets later that day, Ryan noticed Chad's socks, which he appeared to have forgotten, lying on the floor. He kicked them underneath the bed, thinking with a thrill of anticipation that he would return them next time._

****

He must have been blind not to notice, or had simply pushed any uncomfortable hints towards the truth out of mind. That text must have been Taylor demanding to know where he was, not an 'electrician', but, made gullible by his happiness, he had swallowed the lie without protest.

His eyes were drawn back to the socks on the floor and he bent down to sweep them up, considering burning them. That was the expected thing, the _right_ thing, for a deceived lover like himself to do, but he couldn't bring himself to destroy a trace of the man who had been the sole focus of this thoughts for weeks.

If it weren't for the child, he would have perhaps listened to Chad's reasoning instead of cutting him off to suddenly. The longer he stood there, turning over the previous day's phone call in his mind, the more he came to realise that his intense anguish was not caused entirely by the deception, but rather the self doubt which Chad has so cruelly inflicted on him. Closing his eyes, he attempted to reason with his feelings objectively.

Taylor was pregnant, which could only mean that Chad had had sex with her, as any husband (even lying, cheating ones) would. Therefore, he must have been simultaneously been sleeping with both Taylor and himself, enjoying the experimentation. Taking a deep breath, Ryan tried to ignore the painful questions concerning his real value to Chad and kicked the socks back under his bed.

His stomach contracted at the thought of eating and, knowing his mother rose early, wheeled is hastily packed suitcase out of his room and down to the hallway. He found her in the kitchen, an ignored bowl of cereal beside her as she scribbled on what appeared to be invitations. Unsure of how to begin, he busied himself by pouring a glass of juice when she spoke, not looking up,

"Good morning, Duckie. Did you sleep well?"

"Yes, I...." Realising that there was no point lying, he changed his answer, "No, I didn't, actually."

Her reply was vague as she continued embellishing the notepaper.

"Good, good. There's some pastries on the table if you're hungry."

"Mom, I really need to talk to you."

She lifted her eyes briefly and waited for him to continue. Not having planned how best to express his feelings, he hesitated for a moment.

"I.......I'm leaving."

Writing again, she answered distractedly,

"Well, make sure you're home in time for the gala we're hosting."

"No, Mom, I'm _leaving_."

He placed emphasis on the word, but she didn't seem to show any concern that her son was departing only weeks after returning home. Instead, she nodded, saying,

"There's some money in my purse if you need it and Kitten has my credit card."

Disbelief stunning him, he stood frozen at his mother's complete lack of emotion. He had always been her favourite, her _Duckie_, and now......well, seeing as everything else had changed, this should hardly be seen as a shock. The mention of Sharpay, however, caused a slight twinge of regret at the distance which had grown between them since graduation. He realised now, looking back, that she had used him for her own gain whenever possible at high school, but when they were alienated from the rest of the student body, the only comfort he could find was in the apparently indestructible bond with his twin sister.

Despite the stinging words which she would, no doubt, fling in his direction, he felt compelled to see her briefly before he went. No sound came from her bedroom and, assuming that she was still asleep, Ryan gently pushed the door open and peered in.

Seated at her large dressing table, Sharpay has already begun her morning ritual of powders and creams. She caught sight of him in the mirror and snapped,

"Well, what do you want? Don't just stand there."

"I....er.....came to say goodbye."

She replied absently, her focus already shifted back to her reflection.

"Shut the door on the way out."

Wanting to leave on a pleasant note, Ryan asked tentatively,

"You're up early, what's the occasion?"

Sharpay rolled her eyes and spoke deliberately slowly,

"Zeke is going to be at the gala tonight and I have the perfect outfit. He won't be able to resist me."

"I'm not sure if it's wise to try and entice him, surely his wife is accompanying him, so......"

She spun around in her chair, fixing him with an icy glare.

"What would you know, Ryan?"

He visibly winced and leaned against the door frame in case his shaking legs gave way.

"You're right: I know nothing about relationships because whatever I become involved in, whatever feels 'right,' is more often than not _wrong_ in every sense of the word."

If he had expected a sympathetic response, he would have been disappointed, but when Sharpay ignored his acceptance of his inadequacy, he sighed and slipped out of the room.

Downstairs, standing beside the open front door, he hesitated, taking a moment to memorise every detail of his childhood home. It was doubtful that he'd return, not for a prolonged visit anyway; what would be the point in raking up painful memories? Pulling it closed behind him with a soft click, he made a show of striding confidently down the driveway when inside he wanted nothing more but to curl up and sleep to forget.

****

Chad had been distracted all day, so much so that his boss had advised him to take a day off, fearing he was coming down with something. Desperate to avoid his home at all costs, he tried to focus on the design in front of him and reached for his phone to tell Taylor that he would be working overtime. His mobile was nowhere to be found and he realised with a sinking feeling that it was probably still in his jeans pocket.

As soon as the clock struck one, he shot off from the office and drove the short distance to his home well over the speed limit. Letting himself inside, he bolted upstairs to fetch his phone and went to grab something from the fridge for his lunch. On the kitchen table, propped up against the fruit bowl, was a small piece of note paper covered in Taylor's neat handwriting. He picked it up as he searched through the cupboards and read:

_Chad,_

_I couldn't get in contact with you earlier, probably because you left your phone behind, but I guessed you'd probably come home in your lunch break for it. I've had to go to the hospital urgently, so I would appreciate it if you could come as soon as you can._

_T x_

**Please review!**


	11. Chapter Ten

**Chapter Ten**

The hospital was swarming with people when Chad arrived, but Taylor was nowhere to be seen. Edging around a particularly large crowd of people, all cooing over a tiny bundle wrapped in a blanket, he approached the front desk. The receptionist appeared to be inundated with medical paperwork and didn't respond when began to speak. Raising his voice to catch her attention, he repeated himself,

"Hi, I'm looking for Taylor Danforth, she said – "

" – Ah, you must be her husband."

Chad spun round and faced a grave faced doctor, holding a clipboard of patient notes. Obviously accustomed to dealing with anxious family members, the doctor took Chad aside and spoke in a low tone,

"Your wife is a remarkable woman; she seems to be coping extremely well, despite the circumstances. It was most likely caused by high blood pressure, brought on by stress."

Even more confused than before, Chad's distress was clearly written across his face and the doctor's tone became more soothing as he continued.

"She's in the third room to the right at the moment. I checked her over myself and she appears to be in perfect health, but I'm afraid...."

A nurse interrupted, demanding that a recently arrived patient was seen immediately, and the doctor hurried off, directing a perplexed Chad down a nearby corridor. The crowd thinned as Chad pushed his way through, abandoning his manners as he forced people aside. His thoughts became increasingly incoherent as he tried to process the doctor's words, but only succeeded in confusing himself further.

Taylor was alright.........but she was in hospital..........an accident?........can't be too serious........blood pressure?........what's that got to do with it?..........she's fine.........but she's in _hospital_.......

Preoccupied with a series of worst case scenarios which kept springing to mind, Chad almost sped right passed the room. Suddenly uncertain, he paused and then knocked gently. Her voice rang out, strong and clear as always, and he stepped inside.

Standing with her back to him, Taylor appeared to be straightening her outfit and collecting her belongings. Chad shut the door behind him for privacy and approached her slowly, asking hesitantly,

"How.....how are you?"

She looked over her shoulder and replied distractedly as she searched for her handbag,

"Oh, I'm fine. There are no complications so I'm free to go."

Frustrated that he was still in the dark, Chad reached out and grabbed her arm, spinning her round so she had no choice but to face him.

"Well, what _was _the problem? I rushed here, not knowing what state I'd find you in seeing as your note gave no indication as to what the emergency was, and everyone in this damn place seems determined to keep me out of the loop. So, I would appreciate it if – "

" – calm down, Chad. I've had a miscarriage which appeared to be more serious than it actually was."

Her interruption was spoken in the same calm, measured tone that she used when dictating the shopping list to him, but it rendered him completely speechless. He loosened the grip on her arm and felt strangely detached as the shock of her words began to gradually sink in. Retrieving her bag as Chad stood stock-still, she brushed passed him on her way out, adding,

"Come on, we've got time to go buy the groceries. Did you drive here?"

Physically shaking himself, Chad strode to the door and blocked her exit. His voice was low, barely above a whisper, when he spoke next.

"How can you be so unconcerned?"

"What, sorry?"

He raised his voice so she could hear,

"I said; how can you care so little about this? Does it not bother you at all?"

She met his gaze, her body language becoming defensive as she folded her arms.

"Of course it does; I failed. Obviously something went wrong in my calculations, but we can rectify that when we try again."

"_Try again_? Do you really think we're ready for a baby, now or at any time in the future?"

Taylor looked nonplussed as she replied,

"We're at the prime age for conception and our economic status is healthy enough to support the costs of pregnancy and a baby. I would say we're perfectly suited to become parents."

Chad's eyes widened in disbelief at her reasoning and he struggled for a moment to find a suitable response.

"How can you look at this situation so scientifically? This isn't a court case, or a chemical equation: this is reality, Taylor, not a textbook exercise. I can't believe you're not distressed, at least to some degree, at losing a child, I – "

" – Chad, it wasn't a child; it was nothing more than a ball of cells. Nothing died because it wasn't alive in the first place."

She softened her tone as she continued, suddenly aware that the miscarriage may have affected Chad far more than it had her.

"I'm sorry for losing it, I really am, but try to remember that when we try again I'll take far more precautions so our child will be as healthy as possible."

Her unexpected attempt to understand him did nothing to alleviate Chad's anger as he allowed the undercurrents of malcontent, kept bottled up since their marriage, spill out into his speech,

"Stop talking about trying again, just stop. Why can't you understand that there isn't going to be another time, that our relationship has been nothing more than a failed attempt at normalcy which you have fooled yourself into believing? Whatever you say, that 'ball of cells' was a person to me and you know what? I'm glad that you had a miscarriage because it would have been unfair to bring up a child in a house where its parents don't understand each other."

For once Taylor had no answer, no scientific evidence or logical reasoning to argue her point. Seizing the opportunity, afraid that he would never have so good a chance again, Chad forced himself to confess,

"There's something.......something I need to tell you, I....."

Hating the way his voice wavered, he grit his teeth and continued,

"There's someone else, they – "

" – who is she? Do I know her? Where did you meet her? You better tell me everything, Charles Danforth, or, so help me God, I will get to the bottom of this myself."

Taylor's vehemency only served to make Chad's second confession even more difficult as she scanned his face quickly for any clues towards the 'woman's' identity. He avoided her eyes as he began to speak,

"It's not.....they're......"

"Spit it out."

Chad stared down at the hospital floor, murmuring the words, as if that would lessen their impact,

"It isn't a woman...."

Silence, strained and stifling, fell heavily between them. The deep creases of Taylor's furious glare were replaced with a expression of wide-eyed astonishment. There was nothing Chad could think of that would break the tension, no possible way to take his admission back. Recovering, or at least appearing to, Taylor murmured to herself, lips barely moving,

"Gay....my husband is gay and I didn't see......didn't realise....."

Chad strained to hear her words, but shook his head frantically and reached out to her. She flinched slightly and he dropped his arm.

"I'm not gay, Taylor. At least I don't think so.....I haven't really thought it through, but no.....I don't know......"

"Who is it?"

Her voice cut off his train of thought and when she spoke again, her tone was acidic,

"Tell me _who_, Chad. Now."

He choked the name out, an image of the narrow, pale face, smiling sincerely, causing far more pain than Taylor's anguish. She gasped audibly, shaking her head in disbelief.

"But you _hated_ him at high school. I remember you bitching about those 'overmoussed showdogs' constantly."

"I know, I know, but that summer at Lava Springs and then running in to him here, it just – "

" – I don't want to hear it. No explanations, no apologies, just go."

She reached around him and opened the door, pushing him towards it. He stumbled backwards, reeling from the speed in which everything seemed to be happening. As usual, even in what must be a distressing situation, Taylor remained in control as she gave him instructions,

"Leave here, go home and pack a bag. When I get back later I expect you to have left. Don't even think you can come crawling back, it's over. This marriage," she twisted the ring off her finger, "was a sham, a façade, and look: I'm not even crying. I guess subconsciously I must have known what we had wasn't the real thing."

For once, Chad was thankful for her cool logic which spared him the difficulty of tears and begging. Taylor was already turning away from him and pointed at the open doorway. Taking one last look at his wife of two years, her dignity preventing her from breaking down, he made himself scarce.

****

The house, he couldn't think of it as his home anymore, looked no different from earlier that day, despite the recent events which had shaken everything it stood for to the core. Chad rushed passed the photos of their wedding day, hung in a precise formation on the neutral toned wallpaper, as he sped up the stairs. Heaving a suitcase from beneath the bed, _their_ bed, he flipped the lid open and grabbed as many of his possessions as he could.

After the wardrobe and bathroom had been emptied of his belongings, the suitcase was barely half filled and he realised, as he looked around, that most things in the house had been chosen by Taylor in her attempt at making the perfect family home.

Shutting the front door and posting his house key through the letterbox, Chad closed his eyes and took a deep gulp of air. He had no plans, nowhere to stay, no one to direct him and the sudden feeling of liberation overwhelmed him for a moment. No longer tied to a relationship based on a high school friendship and a sense of duty, the freedom was almost intoxicating.

Without planning what he would say exactly, Chad pulled out his phone and dialed the Evans' home number. As expected, it wasn't Ryan's voice which answered, but the cool tones of his mother,

"Hello, this is – "

Chad interrupted,

"Is Ryan there?"

"I'm sorry, but he left yesterday. If you – "

Hitting the 'end call' button, Chad cut off Ms Evans' answer before she could finish.

A car pulled up on next door's driveway and, wanting to avoid any awkward questions, he returned the neighbour's friendly wave and got into his own car. Starting the engine and reversing onto the road, he sped away from the house, not even watching it disappear in the rear view mirror.

He turned the hospital conversation over in his head as he waited at a junction. It was quite remarkable, really, the way she had handled the discovery of his devastating secret, but on reflection, that was typical of Taylor. She would, no doubt, feel bitter at her unsuspecting trust in his fidelity, but be able to deal with it objectively, as if it were a tough court case. Chad, who in the past had despaired at her almost entirely emotionless point of view whenever they'd had a brief disagreement, was now thankful that she would recover and move on with her head held high.

Releasing the handbrake, he followed the steady flow of traffic and felt a slight twinge of regret that their 'perfect' marriage had been destroyed by his own lies. In reality, they were both unsuited to one another and on reflection, Taylor had probably realised that too, but pushed those uncomfortable thoughts aside.

Chad changed lanes and wound down the window, letting the refreshing gusts of wind blow through his hair and quieten his thoughts. Now, at last, he found he had a purpose, a plan and he pressed down on the gas, accelerating towards his destination.

****

The flight had been delayed two hours, but, squashed in an economy class seat, Chad felt only relief that there had been one spare ticket to take him out of New Mexico. Touching down on the runway, the plane came to a steady halt and its passengers filed out, yawning and stretching.

Chad collected his suitcase and strode confidently to the airport exit. Outside the glass doors, however, his previous resolve began to crumble as the reality of his situation began to sink in.

Pedestrians pushed passed him, jostling him as they fought to hail a yellow cab. Standing in a swirling mass of people, his clothes disheveled from the journey, Chad was dazzled by the hundreds of flashing lights and the cacophony of car horns.

Staring, wide eyed, he tried desperately to take everything in and decide on a course of action. A little way in front of him an elegantly dressed couple were embracing passionately and had become the focus of many over-the-shoulder glances as they said their goodbyes with no hint of embarrassment. The man's hat was knocked askew as the woman flung her arms around his neck and in an instant Chad had hurled himself into a waiting cab and directed the driver to the Julliard School of Performing Arts.

One midweek afternoon, as Ryan dressed himself and adjusted his hat in the mirror, Chad had asked him to describe his apartment in New York. Now, face pressed against the cab window, Chad searched his memory for the details and tried desperately to pick out any landmarks.

As Julliard's main building swam into view, Ryan's voice rang loud and clear in Chad's head. Paying the driver hastily, he let his feet be directed by the memory, hazy at first, but sharpening as Ryan's descriptions began to match his position. He turned the corner into a wide street, filled with towering apartment blocks.

"_Thankfully, there's a Starbucks right across the street. I don't know how I'd be able to go to early morning rehearsals without it."_

A familiar green sign caught Chad's eye, and with Ryan's words echoing in his head, he looked round at the building behind him. Mounting the steps, he felt his palms sweating and scanned the list of names next to the intercom. With a rush of panic he realised that 'Evans' was missing, but before he could despair completely, he noticed 'Nielsen' and a name he didn't recognise. Throwing all caution to the wind and without even attempting to decide on an opening sentence, Chad pressed Kelsi's bell and waited. After a slight crackling, a voice he hadn't heard since graduation spoke out above the hum of New York's rushing traffic.

"Yes, hello?"

"Er....Kelsi? It's Chad Danforth, from high school. Is – "

Instantly, her tone became icy and unlike any of the shy, eager-to-please memories Chad had of her.

"After all you've done, you have no right to interfere with Ryan's life anymore."

"I need to talk to him.....I have to sort this out. Please, Kelsi, let me speak to him."

"Well, you can't. He's gone out grocery shopping anyway, but don't you dare hang around and wait for him."

On the point of pleading with her, Chad jumped and spun round as something smashed behind him. A brown grocery bag, liquid seeping out from a shattered bottle, lay abandoned on the steps and with a sharp intake of breath, Chad realised that Ryan was standing less than a foot away. They stood for a moment, staring at each other in shock, before Ryan lowered his gaze and tried to slide passed Chad into the apartment building. Barring his way by outstretching his arm, Chad moved directly in front of him, pressing them together as they balanced on the top step. When Ryan spoke he sounded tired, defeated even,

"You shouldn't be here."

Chad's throat had constricted on seeing Ryan, but hearing his feeble voice, he felt a desperate need to put right the wrongs he had caused.

"I just want the chance to explain; what I did went against everything I have ever believed about relationships, I feel disgusted at myself for it, but, Ry........it was you......I was helpless......"

"So, I'm to blame for your cheating?"

Realising too late the implications of his words, Chad frantically backtracked,

"No, that's not what I meant at all! I wasn't happy in marriage, it never felt _right_, but when I saw you at the airport something clicked. I'm not trying to make excuses, I just want you to understand."

Ryan attempted to slip passed him, muttering,

"Yeah, okay, whatever. It doesn't change the fact that you're a married man who should be home with his wife right now."

Chad flashed his left hand at Ryan, whose eyes flicked to it briefly and look away again.

"You purposefully took your ring off when you saw me, so what exactly are you trying to prove by that?"

Feeling his chance slipping through his fingers, Chad gripped Ryan's shoulders, preventing him from escaping.

"It's over, completely."

Ryan stopped struggling to push his way passed and Chad continued more softly,

"I told her everything about us and, well......she didn't _understand_ exactly, but she made it quite clear that we're finished."

Ryan's head snapped up, the sharpness of his glare startling Chad.

"The baby, Chad. What about your _child_? Have you just abandoned it?"

His voice shook, whether from the effort of keeping his fury in check or trying not to sob, Chad couldn't say, but the trembling of Ryan's voice wrenched something inside him. Ever since Taylor's announcement of her pregnancy and the bombshell she had dropped at the hospital, he had been too caught up in tracking Ryan down to wrap his head around the reality. Now, though, it all became painfully clear and he was unable to prevent the sudden tears that welled up as he choked out,

"She......she had a.......had a......miscarriage......."

Instinctively, Ryan wrapped his arms around him, allowing the familiar curls to rest on his shoulder as Chad's whole body shuddered. All the hatred he knew he should feel towards Chad had evaporated completely on seeing him break down and it felt right, so perfectly, unquestionably right to be holding him again. Realising where he was, Chad lifted his head and mumbled incoherently,

"I didn't even _want _a child, but now I've lost one – "

" – I understand," Ryan found himself saying, though at Chad's confused expression he hastily corrected himself, "Well, not literally, of course, but I can imagine how much this must be hurting you. In fact, I – "

His words were abruptly cut off as Chad tilted his head and pressed their lips together gently. Ryan froze, but didn't automatically back away which Chad took as permission to continue and kissed him with the lightest of touches, barely moving his mouth and not daring to pry Ryan's mouth open with his tongue. He pulled away eventually and they gazed at one another for a long minute, before Chad moved, stumbling down the steps as he spoke,

"I'm sorry, Ry; I know I shouldn't have done that. I'll do what's probably the right thing and leave."

As he began to trudge away, Ryan had a split second to make up his mind. He flew down the steps and called his name, pausing some distance away as Chad looked over his shoulder.

"Chad, wait! Don't go, please.....I....."

Suddenly awkward, his cheeks colouring with embarrassment, Ryan struggled to find the words to express himself.

"It goes against everything I've been saying, and by Kelsi's standards it isn't the 'right thing' to do, but I can't let you go like that. After all you've done, I should be happy to see you go, but......"

His voice trailed off as Chad turned around fully, hanging onto Ryan's every word, making it harder for him to think rationally. When he did continue, Ryan's voice was calmer and more confident, a strength growing as he spoke again,

"I'm not saying I can forgive you, nor can things be as they were before I found out the truth, but I want you to stay. Over time, maybe we can work something out; I can't give you up for your stupid mistake."

Smiling weakly, Chad walked back towards him and together they mounted the apartment steps. As Ryan unlocked the door, Chad offered his hand tentatively and after a moment of hesitation, Ryan took it, allowing their fingers to lace together.

_Fin_

**A/N: This is the last official chapter, but I will be posting an epilogue soon.**


	12. Epilogue

**Epilogue**

_Six months later_

Steering the car into a parking space, Chad turned off the engine, stared out of the window at the building and sighed. Ryan stretched across from the passenger seat and rested his hand on Chad's knee.

"We've come this far."

Chad nodded and swallowed nervously, before opening the car door and stepping out. Gripping his hand firmly, Ryan led him towards the main entrance.

Inside, men talking rapidly on phones clamped to their ears and women clicking across the polished floor with trays of coffee whirled passed them. Once the office lobby was empty enough for them to walk through without fear of being elbowed, Chad approached the front desk.

"Er....I have an appointment to see Taylor......."

Chad's voice trailed off with uncertainty as he realised that he had no idea which surname she used at work. Fortunately, the receptionist had caught his meaning and pointed him towards a door of the other side of the lobby.

"She's just finished with a client so I'll let her know you've arrived and you can go on up."

Chad nodded and turned, seeing Ryan looking around at his surroundings approvingly.

"That degree from Yale has certainly done Taylor a favour if it means she can work somewhere like this."

Glancing to his left a Chad, who was biting his lower lip nervously, he placed a soft kiss on his cheek, murmuring as he pointed towards some large, leather sofas,

"I'll be waiting just here."

He went to sit down as Chad walked slowly across the lobby. He'd only been here once before, on Taylor's birthday to be exact, but he remembered the route to her office clearly. At her door, poised to knock, a flood of memories rushed unbidden back into his mind.

Half a year ago he'd been in almost exactly the same situation: standing at Taylor's door, the temptation to run becoming more and more difficult to ignore. This time, however, he was at her office, not hospital room, and not about to confess to something which would turn her life upside down. He rapped his knuckles in the polished wood and entered.

Taylor was tapping furiously on her computer keyboard and indicated the seat in front of her desk without looking up. Sinking down onto the chair, Chad stared out of the large window, her voice catching him unawares when she spoke,

"I have all the relevant paperwork here, so – "

" – oh, good. Thanks, I – "

" – and if you could sign the marked pages now, that would speed things along."

She still hadn't glance up from her computer screen once, so, frustrated, Chad leant forward and raised his voice,

"Taylor, it's me, not one of your regular clients."

After what felt like an age, she swiveled her chair round to face him and when she spoke her voice was composed and quite,

"I'm well aware of that, Chad, I just want to get this over with as soon as possible. It's been hanging over me for months and now, finally, it will be finished and I can get on with my life."

She sighed and rubbed her eyes wearily. Chad almost reached out to take her hand, but stopped himself and spoke softly instead,

"I never meant to hurt you, Taylor. Never. I know what I did was........." He cast around for a suitable words, but only one came to him which couldn't fully express how awful he felt for deceiving her, "......wrong, but things weren't right between us. Surely you felt that?"

Taylor paused, ordering her thoughts before replying,

"I suppose I did; I just didn't want to admit it to myself. What Gabi and Troy have looks perfect, but it's not for me and, Chad," She looked him straight in the eye, "I'm sorry about the babies. Both of them."

Chad nodded, relieved that she didn't appear to despise him with a passion after what he'd done.

"We were close friends at school, Tay, I couldn't ever hate you. I understand about the first baby, and it's not you're fault what happened to the second, which is why I needed to do this face-to-face. I don't want to hide from it all and try and forget."

A small smile crept onto Taylor's face and she passed him a sheaf of divorce papers and a pen. Flicking through them, Chad signed his name quickly, confident that she had sorted everything efficiently. Taylor took them back, shuffling them neatly.

"Well, there we are. You are now officially my ex-husband and I'm Taylor McKessie again."

They caught each other's eye and laughed quietly in unison.

"Is he here?"

Chad knew exactly to whom she was referring to and answered,

"Yes, downstairs."

Taylor got up and walked him to the door, saying,

"I don't want to see him, but I'm sure he's just as charming as ever."

Chad chuckled and touched her arm slightly before he left.

"Take care of yourself, Tay."

The door clicked shut behind him and he closes his eyes for a moment, inhaling deeply. Remembering Ryan, he flew down several flights of stairs to the lobby where he found him surrounded by a gaggle of Taylor's female colleagues. As soon as Ryan caught sight of Chad, he excused himself and ran towards him.

"Have you done it? Is it all finished?"

Chad squeezed him tightly and kissed the top of his head. Ignoring the crowd gathered in the lobby, Ryan flung his arms around Chad's neck, shouting,

"You're all mine at last! I've wanted this since high school!"

Chad laughed and suddenly giddy with elation as they walked towards the exit, joked,

"What were you doing with all those women, then? Reminds me of when you first came back to Albuquerque and I saw you outside Lava Springs with your arm around a girl's waist. I've never felt so jealous!"

Ryan pretended to push him away, saying,

"Despite knowing me all through high school and seeing me wear _pink_ trousers in the senior musical, you actually thought I might be straight? She was just an old family friend who I used to give dance classes to in the holidays."

Chad stopped walking and pulled Ryan towards him, kissing him fiercely. As they broke apart, both slightly breathless, Chad whispered in his ear,

"It doesn't matter what I used to think, or the stupid lies I told, we've got each other now, Ryan Evans, the way it always should have been."

**A/N Thank you so much to everyone who's read and reviewed, I've really enjoyed writing this.**


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